Come Back to Me
by Chicago Firestarter
Summary: A series of Linseride one-shots that explore various ways Kelly and Erin could work themselves back to each other. Sweet Kelly, Badass Kelly, Hurt Kelly, and Hot Kelly are just some of the Severide layers that a certain dimpled detective cannot resist. Chapter 12 is up!
1. Sweet Kelly

**So this little fic came to be as I thought about how Haas &amp; company could get Linseride back together. Will they? Nah, but a girl can dream, right? Here are my fantasy sequences on how Kelly can make his way back to a gorgeous, dimpled detective.**

**This first one is Sweet Kelly. We all know he's got that huge heart beneath the asshole exterior. It starts with some Jay, but keep the faith and keep reading. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Erin enjoyed the warmth of Jay's hand holding hers, the grip tight with the self-assurance of a man who knew what he wanted and wasn't afraid to go for it. They'd played the dance of flirtation for a year before taking the plunge into actual dates, a real relationship. To hell with Voight and his damn rules. Halstead was the one who confronted the sergeant, telling him he'd quit Intelligence to be with Erin.

"Yeah, it's a complicated mess, but it's our mess, and Erin's a grown woman. She can decide…" Jay's voice was rising, just as Hank rose from his desk.

"Yes, she can decide. Intelligence or you, that's the choice, plain and simple," Voight rasped out, face turning red. Who the hell was this punk?

"Just thought you'd appreciate me talking to you directly, no bullshit hiding behind your back," Jay yelled in reply, chest to chest with the older man.

"So exactly how long has this been going on?" Voight asked wanting to take a step forward but already touching the angry cop in front of him. He didn't really want to know the answer, always made it a point of steering clear of Erin's personal life. But right now, he felt like these two were pulling something over on him. And it was not a feeling he enjoyed.

"Nothing's going on, but we've got something. Yeah. Something real," Jay paused. "You can consider this my resignation because we're doing this, with or without your approval." He turned to leave, stopped by the clearing of Hank's throat.

"Just sit down," he said backing away, moving behind his desk. Voight was not a stupid man. He'd seen Erin at her best and definitely at her worst. He preferred a happy Erin … admitting to himself it had been a long while since she seemed truly happy.

"The job suffers when you start mixing the personal with business. We don't shit where we eat, my rule, plain and simple." Voight crossed his arms, leaning back deeply in his chair, waiting for Jay to respond.

"Nice. I'm outta here," Halstead got up, again walking to the door.

"Sit." Hank's voice lowered to almost a whisper. The resolve of the young man in front of him was unmistakable. And he had to give it to him for showing balls of steel, ready to give up his job for a shot at a woman. Erin. His girl. He let out a frustrated breath. "Okay. As long as you keep all the personal out of this office, we'll give it a shot. This ain't the place for no couple's massage."

Jay laughed lightly as he shook his boss' hand. Erin was smiling broadly as the two men entered the bullpen, all eyes scanning for some sign. Some sign that they weren't losing a team member.

"Are we all done playin' grab ass or are we ready to haul in some scum?" Hank was at the whiteboard drawing arrows and lines from face to face, but all Erin could see was the beaming face of her partner.

It had been over a month since Jay had fought for her and won. Since they'd stepped onto a precarious plank bridging personal life with work. So far, it was working. Erin loved the feeling that there was someone in her life who had her back no matter what. Jay was a constant. Right now she needed a constant.

* * *

Halstead was taking his girl to their favorite restaurant, a little sub place with the best meatballs in the city. They were meeting his brother, a big step for Erin. He could see the way she squirmed when he brought up family or future. Talk of moving in was clipped short the one time he mentioned it under the guise of "saving money." He was practically living at her place anyway, why not make it official?

He was trying to "take it slow" as she liked to say, again and again. Trying to live in the moment. At the moment, he couldn't wait to sink his teeth into a huge meatball sub. He felt her hand slacken in his grip before he even saw what caused it to drop like a forgotten toy tossed to the side.

Kelly Severide.

Erin's chest squeezed with pain, a pain she thought she'd let go of months ago. The news Antonio Dawson brought in about a Severide quickie marriage created the hurt so real she wondered if her heart was in fact breaking. No text from the fireman explaining the nuptials, no Kelly logic to cloud and lessen her anger. Nothing.

Erin knew she'd been the one to say she wouldn't be _that _girl. That girl left waiting for some man. But she also knew she said she would be there for him. All he had to do was call. He never did choosing to drown his Shay grief with alcohol and a new wife. Now he was walking down the steps of St. Pius, arm hooked in another woman's, guiding her to the waiting sidewalk.

He glanced up meeting Erin's gaze and for a split second looked like he might topple over, might drop that woman's arm and actually fall down the steps before him. Instead, he tightened his hold, moving his arm around the waist of the woman who was now laughing at something he said.

"Well, Erin Lindsay," he said reaching the bottom, standing a few feet away from the detective.

"Well, Kelly Severide," Erin echoed, her raspy voice sending a shiver down the fireman's spine. A voice he hadn't heard in over nine months.

"Are you going to introduce me to your friend, Kelly?" the elderly woman asked taking a small step toward the pair.

"Beatrice Keaton, meet Detective Erin Lindsay," Severide presented Erin like she was the prize in the bottom of a Cracker Jack box.

"Bea, call me Bea, sweetheart. Oh my, you are a cutie!" she exclaimed with a laugh. "And who is this handsome young man?" she asked turning to Jay.

"Jay Halstead, ma'am," Halstead answered holding out his hand.

Bea took it warmly in more of a warm squeeze than a handshake.

"Kelly, how are you?" asked Erin, taking him in. She'd forgotten how blue those eyes were, how that smile encompassed his face. Now it was just inches away from her own face.

"Good. Really good," Kelly said, drawn to Erin's face, resisting the urge to touch it, touch her cheek, knowing how soft it was. He put his hands in his pockets not trusting them.

"You look good," Erin said, unconsciously rubbing her hand down the length of his arm before taking a step back, realizing what she was doing. What the hell is wrong with me? Don't touch him, she told herself.

"Well, good seeing you Severide, but we've got a couple of meatball subs with our names on 'em," Jay said just a tinge too cheery.

Kelly laughed, "I don't know about that. Bea might wrestle you for them." He shrugged toward the restaurant across the street, "Costello's?"

"Well, I say we all make our way in there and get out of this lovely Spring weather my city is giving us," the older woman said reaching for Kelly's arm to guide her across the street.

The date on the calendar officially said Spring, but the temperature outside announced that winter was not bowing out without a fight. Bea clutched at Kelly's arm needlessly, he had a firm hold around her waist. She was moving at a snail's pace... the combination of the long, wool coat, the ice on the road, and the feebleness of age making progress slow.

The young couple trailed behind with Jay holding his arm out, offering a weak smile to the gorgeous brunette. "We can go somewhere else," he suggested softly.

"No, it's okay," Erin replied, her brain twisting in a thousand different wanted to run, she wanted to stay, she wanted to give Kelly a long overdue hug, and she wanted to scream at him for marrying some woman he knew for a hot second.

Once inside, the four turned to each other awkwardly, not sure if they were getting one table or branching off.

"Well, good seein' you Erin," Kelly said scanning the small area for two tables. "Here ya go," he added pointing to an open table. The only available table.

"Join us, please," Erin said looking at Bea who was teetering a little, leaning heavily on Severide.

Kelly kept a meatball in his mouth most of the dinner, trying to avoid eye contact with Erin, figuring she wanted to snap his head off for the way he handled or didn't handle their relationship or lack of one. He also knew his eyes had a tendency to linger on the detective, not unnoticed by the other detective. Best to look at Bea or his sub, he thought. But that laugh. That voice. Those eyes.

"So why were you two at St. Pius tonight?" Erin asked, her cop mind turning it over and over. An aunt? Grandmother? Family friend? What was the connection? And they were at church?

"Do you mind?" Bea asked Kelly.

"Go ahead," he said smiling at his friend, an obvious affection shared between the woman who had to be fifty years his senior, who could barely make it across the street and this picture of health fireman. She patted Kelly's hand as she began their story.

"I was heading up to my little group, we get together once a week, and was about to meet the bottom of the stairs. Now, mind you, this was in January and the snow was unbearable. I don't know if it's me getting on in years, or if the cold is getting worse." She paused for a second, remembering where she left off. "Oh yes, about to fall and this one," she said patting Kelly's hand again, "he came in and saved me."

"Technically, I didn't save you," Severide corrected. "Just hauled you up the rest of the way. Used a fireman's carry, like a sack of potatoes."

Everyone laughed at the story, Bea the loudest. "He did not carry me up like that. But we did make it in, and Kelly decided to stay. I think he was worried this old woman wouldn't make it down in one piece. And he's been taking me to my meeting every week since." She was beaming at her hero.

"I'm afraid to ask ma'am, but what do you all do at this meeting?" asked Jay, who'd been caught up in the woman's crinkled, sparkling blue eyes, her easy smile, and even easier laugh.

"That, my young friend, is for another day," she answered, still smiling but the smile had changed somehow. Going from a happy memory to something sprinkled with a bit of sadness.

"Aw, c'mon," pressed Halstead. "You got the lieutenant here knitting or something and you're not gonna fill us in," he teased.

"Nah, it's okay," Kelly said looking at Bea who nodded for him to go on. "Uh, Bea lost her husband in September. The group is really a grief counseling thing." The fireman bit into another huge meatball, leaving the words to linger. The one word hanging over the table. Shay. His Shay.

"I am so proud of you, Kelly," Erin said not knowing where the hell those words came from. Like he needs my approval or something? Just stuff a meatball in your own damn mouth, Erin told herself.

"Yeah, uh, I went a little crazy. Or a helluva lot crazy," he laughed bitterly thinking about the months of drinking, drowning his sorrows, but they didn't seem to ever really die. Just a numbing. And then there was Brittany. How many times he'd picked up his phone to call Erin, even contemplating the coward's way out… a text. But he didn't, thinking he had found his savior. When the marriage was annulled, Matt was on him like crazy to just pick up the phone.

"You know Shay thought you two were perfect for each other," Casey pushed, wanting to see his friend happy.

"Well, Shay ain't here is she?" Kelly'd countered angrily, not listening to reason. Ever.

"Boden was on me, Matt on my ass… but I guess it took a sixty year-old-woman to straighten me out," the fireman said trying to lighten the now heavy mood.

"Kelly, you know I am eighty two," Bea chuckled, her face radiant with the glow of someone who had lived a life, who savored each day and ran with it. Like her younger friend, a different story would have been told about her a few months earlier.

"You just look so young, darlin'," he teased, more laughter ringing from the table. "You about done?" he asked, aware that her eighty two years would mean she'd be wanting to get home soon.

"Ready when you are," the elderly woman turned to her new friends, "Erin, so lovely to meet you. Jay, if you two ever break up, you know where to find me on a Thursday night," Bea whispered loud enough for everyone to hear. "Take me home?" she asked turning to Kelly, whose expression had soured at the last comment. He nodded his head, reluctant to rise.

The fireman could have stayed at that table all night. Could have stayed for a lifetime, but Bea was ready. "Halstead, good seein' you." he shook the cop's hand, both men adding a little extra firm to their grip. "Erin," he paused, not sure if a hug was going to be met with her body or a slap by her hand.

"Erin," he said again. "Don't really know what to say," he admitted. He shook his head as if clearing a fog, "It was great seein' you. Maybe we can, uh, get together sometime…"

"I don't think so Kelly," she said, her expressive eyes always adding words that her mouth neglected. God, he missed those eyes.

Bea was entertaining Jay with a story about her beloved Arthur and his thirty year naval career while Kelly worked for some alone time with Erin. He felt it was some kind of divine intervention, call it fate, that she appeared before him tonight. Much like the run in with Bea, some force was moving the puzzle pieces of the universe to get these two together. That's what Kelly told himself as he pressed her for something, anything … "What's the harm in a coffee, Erin? That's all I'm askin' for. One coffee."

"Sorry, Kelly, but no. What we had was beautiful but it ran its course…"

"That is bullshit," the fireman interjected, gaining the attention of Jay. "Nothing ran its course. I went off the deep end. I want the chance to say I'm sorry, to let you give me hell or whatever. Just thirty minutes."

The silence from Bea and Halstead magnified Kelly's words, causing them to ring out much louder than he wanted.

"Looks like you've just said your sorry's. You ready, babe?" Jay asked reaching for Erin's hand. She shook her head yes, giving Bea a quick hug, diverting her eyes from a now fuming Severide.

Kelly helped his friend into his car, the grim look on his face warned off any jokes or talking. He revved the engine a couple of times before peeling out.

Erin watched as Kelly retreated, unconsciously pressing her hand against her chest, trying to ease the stab she felt. She knew it would take more than her hand to heal it. She knew she had a strange hollow within. It had been temporarily filled with a fireman almost a year ago. Now it was back. She told herself she was okay with it, she tried to take comfort in the familiarity of it.

But when she closed her eyes to dream, the images always held that face. That face with the piercing blue eyes. No one else.

Jay took her home, leaving for the night, knowing she needed some space. As wrong as it seemed to him, he pulled away from her apartment, the events of that unexpected dinner knocking around in his brain. Knocking so hard, he had the beginnings of a headache as he eased himself into his place. A headache he hoped wouldn't transform into some heartache.

Erin sat alone in her living room, glass of wine in one hand, phone in the other. She felt a pull to call Kelly, tell him how much she missed him, how she ached for him. But she wouldn't. She had always wondered what it would be like to have someone who knew her so well, someone who could look into her eyes, almost see her soul, and not back away. Someone who loved her knowing who she really was. Was Kelly that man? She didn't know.

She did know he was the man whose simple touch could send her thoughts to an old fashioned dream of white picket fences and a happily ever after. She could almost feel his arms around her, remembering how tightly they encircled her after the bombing. She thought she would never have to worry about those arms leaving her.

Two small raps on her door broke the spell she was under. She smiled as she thought about how little time it took Jay to come wandering back.

"Well, Kelly Severide," she said surprised, her rough voice contradicting those sweet dimples.

"Well, Erin Lindsay," he replied, devilish grin, a little unsure, plastered on his face. "You did say I never had to call," he added, nervously putting his hands in his pockets.

"I did say that," Erin agreed, cocking her head to the side, but not backing away to let him in.

"Damn," he muttered, moving in roughly, grabbing the back of her head, lips crashing into each other hungrily.

Erin pulled the fireman toward her, kicking the door shut. "You got thirty minutes, Severide," Erin breathed out between kisses. "Make the most of them."

"Damn," Kelly repeated, the softness of her lips like velvet running against his skin.

The dream was floating back on a sail of promises made by each kiss. Come back to me, Kelly. Come back. Erin could feel the hollow filling up with hope. A hope that Kelly _would_ come back.

Erin didn't know that he was already there.

* * *

**So there you go! My first little one-shot on how Sweet Kelly could lure Erin back to him. Next up, Badass Kelly. I've always wanted to crash a helicopter in FF, and it's coming. :)**

**For those waiting for the next update to All I Need Is… it's coming soon too.**

**Hope you enjoy where my plot bunnies are taking us!**


	2. Badass Kelly Part I

**Suspend disbelief, my friends. The FF stands for far fetched, right? Ha! Those crazy thoughts just keep coming, here's the latest that showcases Badass Kelly and how he can squirm his way back to Erin. Hope you enjoy! Oh, and this is a two parter because you know I can't do anything short. **

* * *

The news ran through 51 like the fire they just snuffed out in an old abandoned warehouse that devoured the structure as if it were a small snack. One cop dead. Shot while sitting in a squad car. Unsuspecting. Didn't have a chance.

"Do we have a name yet, Chief?" Kelly asked, stomach in knots, tension within showing itself with outward agitation.

"I've got a call in to Trudy," Mouch chimed in from his couch, phone in hand, newspaper sitting on the coffee table.

"I'm not talkin' to you," Severide snapped, turning back to Boden.

"Heard it was a male officer, patrol, but nothing certain. Sure everyone in IU is fine," Chief tried to reassure.

"And how the hell are you sure? Jesus, never mind…" he trailed off heading to the locker area, pulling out his phone. He ran past Erin's name, scrolling to Voight.

Voicemail. That damn gruff voice offering no hints to the answer Kelly was looking for.

"Sergeant. It's Kelly Severide, uh, from 51." Coward, he thought. "Just making sure you all are okay. Call me or text me. Or something." He pressed End not believing he didn't just call Erin himself.

He couldn't. How many months had it been? Six? Nine? He'd lost track. How many times had he tried to call her? Too many to count. And how many times did he actually call her? Zero. Too late. Too much water under the bridge. He knew he'd pushed her away when he needed her most, turning to the bottle for comfort. It hadn't worked only making him a drunk miserable mess instead of just a miserable mess. Then he found Brittany in Vegas and she made him feel so good in so many ways. Thoughts of Shay didn't circle his brain like vultures all day and all night. She was beautiful, so hot, and such an open book. That book revealing a pain so deep it rivaled his. When he sent her home to face her own demons, he knew he would never see her again. They had been exactly what the other needed, served their purpose, but it was over.

It wasn't that Erin wouldn't forgive the marriage. Hell, he thought, she'd probably condone it if only he'd given her a head's up and had the decency to clue her in on his quickie nuptials. But he'd kept silent and now it was too late. He just hoped it wasn't really too late and Erin wasn't the victim of some crazed gunman.

The text from Voight came in quickly, startling Kelly from his regrets ...

"Lindsay's fine. She said to grow a pair."

He couldn't help but laugh at the text, relief washing over him before thoughts returned that there was still a dead cop on the streets of Chicago. He walked back to the common room ready to dole out some apologies.

"Hey, sorry 'bout that," he said slapping Mouch on the shoulder.

"Chief, sorry I jumped down your throat," he said passing by Boden who was sitting, watching the news from the couch. A place he did not frequent much.

The men grumbled out a response, watching the sad story of a cop, 32, now dead, leaving behind a wife and two young kids. The single gunman escaped.

_"Engine 51...Truck 81...Ambulance 61...Squad 3...Two vehicle collision, victims trapped...119th and Halsted"_

And it was off to the races, no time for contemplation, no time to think about calling Erin, no time to grow a pair.

* * *

Two weeks flew by with the FBI getting involved in the hunt for a cop killer. The shooter was a former Navy Seal, a real survivalist who'd gone off the grid in the 800 acres at Swallow Cliffs. The agents had talked about being on the trail of Duane Stadler, about being minutes away from catching him, and then another three weeks ran by with no sign of the ghost. They pulled out leaving the search in the "capable hands of the CPD." Voight had been waiting for a piece of the case, immediately wanting to get into the search and destroy business, but the brass called down their pit bull. Hank had interviewed the cop for the position in IU that Halstead filled, it coming down to Dawson's recommendation. And now the man was dead.

Voight got his chance when the call came in that some hikers spotted a man hung up on the cliffs, dangling precariously, not able to go up or down. 51 was brought in having two of the best cliff crawlers in the business, Kelly Severide and new addition Scott Rice. Hank made himself available, knowing this guy in trouble was THE guy. The description from the hikers gave Voight that feeling in his gut he knew so well, that feeling of closing in on his prey, of knowing it was only matter of time.

"So what're we lookin' at?" Hank asked Chief Boden, smiling as he caught sight of the man hanging on a rope. He was beyond dirty, full scraggly beard, clothes tattered rags, and very much in trouble. He was laying flat against the rock having given up trying to rappel up or down hours ago, exhaustion and dehydration setting in.

The sun was beating down mercilessly, Kelly and Scott putting on the last of their gear.

"This ain't gonna take too long," Kelly relayed to the sergeant, surveying the scene. "He's got himself tangled up pretty good, but we'll get him up."

"Or down. Just cut the damn rope and let gravity take its toll," Voight graveled out only half joking.

"No can do. You'll have your hands on him soon enough."

"Hey, watch yourself. This guy's dangerous. He doesn't look like much right now, but he is deadly." As Voight dashed out his warning, two members of his unit rushed from the brush… Jay Halstead and Erin Lindsay.

"Where is he?" Halstead inquired before peering over the ledge and answering his own question. "Navy Seal, trained for many things, including to kill," he stated trying to press the urgency of the situation on the two firemen who seemed more interested in adjusting their gear than in listening to two cops.

"Yeah, Voight filled us in. He looks pretty done to me," Kelly said shrugging as Rice chuckled checking his harness one last time. "Erin," he acknowledged, knowing ignoring the detective was not going to make her disappear. The heat on his collar was breaching the boiling point, sweat rolling down his back.

"Kelly," she said dismissing him before turning to Voight. "So what's the plan."

"They're gonna go down and haul his sorry ass back up. Jay, you be ready," Hank nodded at his young detective, glad to have his sharpshooting skills as part of his unit.

"He gives me any excuse, I'll put him down," Halstead told the group attaching a scope to his rifle.

Kelly nodded, brushing off Jay's bravado, noticing Erin's impressed smirk. The two were off talking in hushed tones, Erin's hand touching the cop's arm every couple of seconds. Kelly broke his gaze to re-focus, forget that crap, he told himself.

Kelly and Scott quickly worked out their plan of action. Both scaling down each side of the gunman. Rice would cut him out of the ropes while Kelly hooked him onto a new line.

Voight again warned that Duane was dangerous, expect the unexpected, and don't take your eyes off him. "He's a trained killer. Watch yourselves."

As Kelly scaled the precipice, he motioned for Scott to slow down. They stopped just a few feet above the "killer" who looked more like a rag doll at the moment.

"Okay, let's go," Severide instructed with both men descending in unison.

Scott swiveled the immobile man around to face Kelly as he worked on getting him disentangled. Suddenly there was a panting, a real huffing coming from the ex Navy Seal, squad's lieutenant thought he was having some seizure.

Duane's eyes flashed open without a trace of lethargy, they were burning with an alertness his outer appearance did not convey. Kelly was the one being turned around now as the military man grasped the clip that held his lifeline. The fireman pushed hard with his legs against the rock, slipping Duane's grip of the metal from his hands. Rice grabbed the man by the shoulders, an elbow meeting his nose in response.

"Aahhh!" Scott called out, blood seeping onto his gloved hands.

From the top, frantic yelling rang out.

"Shoot him!" Voight growled to his cop.

But the firemen and murderer were in a twisty, turny, high wire act that left little room for clean shots.

Jay was the one sweating now, the three men too close to each other for him to get a bullet in the bad guy's brain. "Damn!" he muttered, wiping his forehead. He saw an opening, a sliver of an opening, and he took it.

The shot sputtered lamely of the face of the cliff just inches from Scott's head. The fireman looked up angrily, still holding his nose.

"Hold fire," Voight's gravel commanded changing his tune.

Erin had her gun drawn, knowing she couldn't use it. But somehow it made her feel better, in more control of a situation she didn't have one ounce of power in. Kind of the way everything was with her and the fireman, she thought ruefully. Never any damn power.

Her gaze locked into the struggle below, her heart pounding out of her chest. "C'mon, c'mon," she whispered. She'd been so angry seeing Kelly there, so mad at him, just the way he was putting on his gear and ignoring Voight's warnings. Everything infuriating her… chatting to Rice like they were doing this for fun, the way he said her name to greet her, that damn grin, those damn eyes…

Now she just wanted him up on top. He would leave, she would leave with a cop killer, and she could go about her business. At least he would be alive in the world. She needed him alive in this world.

And that pissed her off even more.

* * *

Duane feigned a reach for Severide's clip again, but as Kelly brought up both hands to ward off the attack, the killer twisted him around, reaching an arm under the fireman's armpit. The move was so smooth Kelly realized too late what was happening. That arm twisted upward moving his shoulder to a place it should never go.

The pop coming from his lieutenant, childhood friend, awoke Scott from his stupor. He swung an arm around Duane's neck squeezing with everything he had. The military man released Kelly, who slumped forward trying to get his bearings. The fireman could pick out the voices from above. Voight's rasp, Halstead cursing, Chief … but no Erin.

He heard the boom of Boden yell his name, "Severide!" Kelly took it as a command, grabbing the killer's head and slamming it against the rock with such force he was sure he'd killed him.

"Why the hell didn't you do that to start with?" Rice gasped, rubbing his shoulder, the cop killer not getting to finish it off.

"No shit," Kelly breathed out, the deep breaths turning into a low chuckle. Scott let his back lean against the rock, his head resting on the hard surface. He shot Severide a look before joining him, laughing lightly.

Their laughs could be heard up top, Boden's smile showing a pride he didn't often let the world see.

"Crazy fucking firemen," Voight grumped out, turning to field a call from the Feds who decided now would be a good time to join the party. Jay trailed behind taking the scope off his rifle.

Erin stayed looking over the edge, getting even more pissed as the laughter echoed and echoed rising like her ascending temperature.

* * *

The FBI decided the criminal would be transported to the nearest hospital by helicopter, a medevac waiting by the time the firemen hauled the man to the top.

Erin was in the chopper waiting impatiently as Kelly unhooked his gear, not trusting her mouth and what she would say. Also not trusting her gun would remain unused. That smug look in his eyes as he plopped the cop killer on the ground sending her over the edge.

She fought every desire to run over when he launched himself to the top, make sure he was okay. She stared as his eyes narrowed when he tried to turn his shoulder over, that mouth trying to smile at his chief, those full lips…

Shit. Erin turned on her heels and stormed off the the helicopter, tapping her foot, waiting for an asshole to be brought in.

She wasn't expecting this asshole.

"Hey," Kelly said as he hopped in.

Whoa, whoa, whoa … What?

A paramedic and the cop killer, looking pretty dead on a stretcher, joining them a minute later.

"It's a little crowded," Kelly said jumping back out feeling the stifling glare of a detective on him.

"Get your ass in there," Boden commanded. "Get that," he said indicated Kelly's shoulder, "checked out."

Severide grunted as he hopped back in, sitting as far away from Erin as he could get, not making the mistake of any eye contact again.

"So I guess you should have taken our warning when we told you this guy WAS A KILLING MACHINE!" Erin began.

This was going to be a long damn flight, Kelly thought.

* * *

It turned out to be much shorter than he anticipated. Shorter than any of them could've guessed. Ten minutes in and the pilot was radioing about losing power, eleven minutes in he was desperately trying to change course looking for a flat landing spot somewhere amidst the never-ending treeline, and twelve minutes in he was screaming "Mayday, Mayday" and crashing the medevac into that treeline.

Erin's eyes began to refocus, the situation coming out of the fog of the crash. Smoke was spiraling upward, she felt her head, stomach, chest… all good. As she moved her legs a blinding flash of white hot pain shot from her ankle. Her foot was smashed between the seat of the chopper and now the side of the door, smashed inward like a crushed can.

"Kelly!" she called out, fighting with the seat pounding on it uselessly.

The fireman was by her side, the sound of her voice rousing him from the semi-conscious state he was enjoying.

He placed a hand on her back calming her instantly. "I'm here."

Kelly yanked the seat back viciously, strength combining with adrenaline, making easy work of it. He gently eased Erin's bloodied ankle to the floor, watching her face as it scrunched up in pain. "I'm gonna carry you out of here. Put your arms around me," he instructed.

The smoke, the smell… he wanted her away from the burning wreckage, his brain racing down a checklist of things he needed to make happen. Top of the list, get her to safety.

He easily picked Erin up, jumping out of the misfigured metal, striding to a soft batch of leaves. Putting her down, he reluctantly left her side to check on the others. He saw the paramedic first, a young guy, brownish young boy haircut, now stained red with blood. The neck at a horrific angle telling the story of death. Kelly crawled to the front of the chopper spotting a steady stream of blood coming from the head of the pilot. He felt for a pulse. Nothing. The glassy open eyes confirming it. He unbuckled the guy's seatbelt, latching his arms under the pilot's armpits and dragging him out.

He went back in to get the paramedic out, not wanting to move his neck too much. Didn't matter now, but he moved the guy as if he were just sleeping. Erin watching the entire scene, wanting to turn away but not able to tear those hazel eyes away from the tragedy. She waited for Kelly to go back in to get out the cop killer, but he came jogging back to her, a small first aid kit in his hands.

He popped open the container, shuffling through its items roughly.

"Where's Duane?" Erin asked.

"Not in there," Kelly answered almost too calmly.

The detective reached for her gun, feeling all the way around her ribcage, fingertips landing on the gun holster. Empty.

"My piece is gone," she told him, that dead calm reaching her as well.

* * *

**I'll let you think about that one for a bit. One more in this Badass Kelly update because you know Duane did not go gentle into that good night. Haha! It's done, so I'll post tonight. Happy Sunday, y'all.**


	3. Badass Kelly Part II

**Here we go… the conclusion of Badass Kelly. Enjoy!**

* * *

"He's gonna be back, Kelly. I feel it," Erin said trying to get up.

"Nah," he answered nonchalantly. "Sit. Let me clean that up." Kelly took Erin by the elbow leading her gently back to the ground. She grunted as her ankle moved slightly.

"I'm sorry but I need to take that boot off." He pulled it away in one swift, smooth move. He stretched her sock off taking in the swollen foot and ankle. Looking at her with a smile, he ran a hand over her leg comfortingly. God, those dimples. He missed those dimples. His hand absentmindedly stroking her leg, remembering how that leg would swing over him as they slept. How good it felt.

"Don't," she whispered trying not to look in those blue eyes. They did make her feel better, warming up her insides and making her forget a cop killer was on the loose with her gun.

Kelly poured hydrogen peroxide all over her foot, letting it bubble up and wash away any dirt and germs. He wiped away the excess before wrapping it tightly in the Ace bandage he found in the kit.

"No, no," Erin called out, the pain shooting up to her knee.

"Ssshhh," Kelly whispered in her ear, his mouth now just inches from her face. He pressed his forehead against hers, taking in her smell, intoxicated by it. How she could smell so good in the oppressive heat, he had no idea. He was pretty sure he smelled like a high school locker room. He wished he could take that pain away and absorb it into himself. Absorb her into himself.

He shook his head trying to focus on the task at hand, getting up, giving her a squeeze of the shoulder. "I'm gonna see if there's some water in there," he said jogging back to the still smoldering helicopter. He jumped on board again, finding three full bottles of water as well as a half empty one the pilot hadn't finished. He grabbed all, running back to the detective.

Kelly shuffled through the first aid kit again, snatching a bottle of ibuprofen. "Take these," he instructed handing three to Erin, plopping down by her side.

She swallowed them in one gulp, drinking greedily from the bottle. "Kelly, we need to get out of here. He'll be back," she warned again.

"He ain't comin' back, Erin. He's probably half way back into that," Severide said throwing his head in the direction of the deepest woods, taking a small sip from the half empty water bottle.

As if on cue, Duane Stadler came crashing through the brush, gun in hand, a steely resolve in his blue eyes, jaw set firmly in place.

Kelly stepped in front of Erin, standing in between the gunman and the detective.

Duane didn't say a word, walking directly to the fireman, holding up his gun, pointing it in Kelly's chest and squeezing slightly.

"No!" Erin screamed, getting up on one wobbly leg. "Unless you want to drag me around the woods, you need him!" she yelled, the urgency in her voice not lost on Kelly.

Something flickered in those eyes, a small indication that what she said registered. The Navy man stepped back, releasing the trigger. He needed the cop to get out of there, but the fireman was expendable. He'd keep him around for now.

Erin visibly exhaled, dropping back to the ground.

"Hey, I'm gonna get us out of this," Kelly said at her side again, his arm around her shoulders. Such strong, warm arms, she thought realizing she must be in shock or something if she was thinking about those arms at a time like this.

"We're moving," Duane said stoically, pointing the gun at the fireman again. He motioned for them to get up and head back in the woods.

Kelly helped Erin up, draping one of those strong arms around her, bearing most of her weight. He gave her a small smile not liking the look of fear in her eyes. This was not Erin.

Severide also didn't like the sound in the gunman's voice. Nothing frantic or erratic. It was the cool, level voice of a killer.

* * *

They'd been at it for about two hours with Kelly practically carrying Erin. Her ankle was twice its normal size and he knew it hurt like hell with the sounds she was making, every movement sending a jolt of pain through her leg. Another hour, he would be carrying her. He had to make a move. Just need an opening, he would take the smallest of openings.

Erin's anger grew with her growing ankle. She'd given up on the thought of trying to escape, to attack the man with the sure upper hand. A rescue would have to take place, one she knew would come. She had such confidence in her team, Voight, Jay, they wouldn't leave her to die in some forest. But now her brain raced to the man she was relying on to carry her around like some caveman with his woman.

Not one complaint, just a methodical plodding away through the forest, making her drink water, saying the right things. Damn him, she thought. You come back to me now after all these months playing the hero. She wasn't having it.

When Kelly did have to carry her, she blew, the volcano finally erupting. Him holding her so sure, so strong, no fear of falling, that was how it was supposed to be. Not the months of silence, not one word. She'd moved on… or so she thought. She started then stopped something with Jay. His eyes always telling her he was ready to begin again. Kelly now thrown on her, feeling like he was being shoved down her throat.

"Just try to relax, let your head rest on me," he said stroking her hair, as Duane eyeballed him with no trace of emotion.

"Don't do that," she said pulling her head away as he traipsed onward, giving no sign of slowing down, of the exhaustion spelled out with the drenched back.

"Sorry," he murmured.

"For what? For not calling me for months? For not letting me in? Or for getting married?"

There it was.

"We're gonna do this here? Now?" Kelly countered, face just a few inches away from Erin's. "Can we do this when we get outta here? We can meet for coffee, you can yell at me, slap me, and then it'll all be good." He smiled thinly.

She pushed herself away from Severide, letting her legs touch the ground.

"NOTHING will be all good with us. Nothing ever again. You made sure of that when you married someone else, when you ..." Erin answered, voice rising, just the two of them there at the moment. She saw no killer, nothing, just Kelly standing in front of her speechless.

"Shut up," Duane said, his voice even and cold. "Pick her up," he ordered Kelly.

"No, I can walk," Erin argued, moving forward lamely with one good ankle.

"Suit yourself," the cop killer replied, taking two steps forward, cocking his gun and firing.

* * *

She wanted to snatch the remark back the minute it escaped her lips. "I can walk." Duane's eyes reading, "The fireman's not needed."

Erin saw the gun flash forward, raising her from her stupor. She rushed forward, but the ankle causing her to land far short. She watched as Kelly sidestepped the bullet, it planting benignly in a tree.

Without being tethered against the side of a cliff, Kelly could hold his own. He punched the military man square in the nose and thought he had a fighting chance. They exchanged blows a couple of times before Duane brought them both to the ground. He went for a choke hold, his arm squeezing around the fireman's neck relentlessly. And then it was released. Erin standing over the men swinging a huge branch she could barely hold. One of her wild swings landing on the cop killer's back.

Kelly was again fighting for his life, and no small part of him also wanted to avoid getting his ass kicked in front of Erin. Duane recovered quickly from whatever came his way. Does this guy even feel pain, Kelly thought, his face being held down by the man's forearm.

He spied shiny metal a few feet away partially obscured by some dead leaves. The tossed aside gun.

Kelly felt a resurgence as he pushed Duane off of him, crawling toward the weapon. The Navy seal rushing at it also. Two hands grabbing desperately, both men taking ownership. Duane had his finger on the trigger but Kelly had his hands around the barrel.

The gun was wrenched one way, then the next as the two rolled over and over, grunting, cursing. The thrashing was so violent, Erin couldn't get a clean hit, each swing landing on both fighters.

Two shots cut through the ruckus, bringing the storm to an end. The men lay intertwined and immobile.

Erin's heart constricted as she stood over the pair, dropping the branch to the side. If she thought she couldn't breathe before it was nothing the compared to what she was feeling now.

Kelly pushed off the man on top of him, exhaling loudly, releasing the last of the fight still stirring within himself. Erin was on her knees next to him, saying something. Her mouth was moving and moving.

"I'm okay," he said finally, exhausted beyond any fire he'd ever fought, any shift he'd experienced.

Erin touched the blood all over the front of Kelly, running her shaking hands along his body. Severide grabbed her wrists. "It's all him, Erin." She lay down next to the fireman, tears welling, her head throbbing more than her ankle. She watched his chest heave up and down so heavily, still catching his breath.

Kelly propped up on one elbow, taking in those wet hazel eyes.

"He's dead, Erin. We're okay."

* * *

Kelly built a fire saying they'd probably be rescued before nightfall. Erin remained silent watching as he tried to get some of the blood off his chest with dried leaves and grass, ending up with more of a mess than before. She swallowed hard wanting to look away, but couldn't. She studied his well-chiseled lips, the amused grin spreading across his face every time he caught her looking at him, and how his eyes rested on her for many, many long beats.

Kelly was the type of man who tried not to regret the things he couldn't change, but when he looked into the face of the detective that was all he was filled with. Just a chance to turn back time, to do things all over.

Dusk was settling in, Severide moving Erin closer to the fire, a chill coming with the darkness. He wrapped a protective arm around her and she didn't push it off, instead taking it and the strength it held. Erin's brain issued an order to her body to resist, to not respond to Kelly being so close. It wasn't listening.

She cleared her voice, and Erin could feel the tension in the fireman's body as he waited for her to speak.

"Kelly, I almost got you killed back there. I don't know what I was thinking," Erin's voice broke as she shook her head.

"You saved my ass. Well, when you weren't knocking the shit out of me with that tree," he laughed, leaning further into her.

He pulled her head to his chest, his breath so hot and fast she could feel it on the top of her head. He lifted her face toward his, putting his hand at the nape of her neck and bringing it in slowly, gently, giving her the choice to pull away. She didn't.

I am not having forest sex, Erin told herself as she felt every inch of resolve drifting away.

She watched as he stripped his bloody shirt up over his head, those long, hard muscles moving with every action. Erin caught her breath, realizing it was hopeless, realizing she was done for.

They were both wrong that night. A rescue didn't come before nightfall and Erin went back on her vow to not have forest sex.

* * *

Help came in the morning, a search and rescue team accompanied by a flustered police sergeant and a relatively calm fire chief.

Kelly and Erin were shuffled off by separate teams of worried friends, their family. Casey and Scott were there wanting all the details on how the cop killer ended up dead; Jay and Antonio were buzzing around Erin, joining Voight in super protective mode.

The pair were transported to Chicago Med, Erin by ambulance, protesting the whole way. She shot Kelly a look as he laughed at her retreating, arguing figure. Severide's laugh was short lived as Boden commanded a visit of his own, taking his lieutenant himself.

"Your shoulder looks like its been to war," Chief commented, helping his man get into his truck.

Kelly had to admit his shoulder felt more like a casualty of war, ready for the playing of Taps. He'd pushed through the pain, entering survival mode, not giving it a second thought through the whole ordeal. Now, it was reminding him that it still existed.

Severide didn't argue much, knowing his destination would lead to Erin and unfinished business.

* * *

It was late, far too late to be roaming the hallways of the hospital, IV cart in tow. But Kelly was not waiting till morning. He somehow realized that a new day would mean Erin would be back at home, back with her people, back to forgetting all about him. He crept in her room after sweet talking the nurse on duty, mentioning something about her being his fiancee.

Erin was sleeping, the light in the bathroom left on, emitting a soft glow that brought her face out from the shadows. The fireman tried to keep it quiet but bull in a china shop came to mind as he ran the cart into her bed, yanking the leads attached to his arm.

"Dammit!" he cursed, making it to the chair by her bed.

"Hmm?" she purred coming out of a deep sleep. She could sense he was in her room before she even opened her eyes. He brushed a hand over her skin, and Erin wanted to scream from needing him.

"Sorry I woke you. Just wanted to check on you, your ankle," Kelly whispered stroking the side of her face.

"About last night," Erin began with Severide letting out a huge exhale. "That should have never happened. I, we, we … there is no we," she continued.

Kelly shut her up with a firm kiss, his lips hot with desire. With every kiss, every caress, she just needed more. The room, her thoughts… the world dwindled down to one thing - him. I am not having hospital sex, she told herself, pushing him back.

"Kelly, are you listening to me?" she asked, face flushed.

"No, you aren't making any sense. There is a we, there is an us. It's right here, right now. One thing I know is that we aren't guaranteed a damn thing. This is it Erin, and I'm so sick of running." Kelly looked into those eyes, letting them swallow him up.

She was going to argue, but that warm feeling blossoming between the two wouldn't let her. The heat was almost palpable and Erin was melting. That icy barrier she tried to put up was slowly dissolving away.

"I am going to need that coffee date and just to warn you, a slap may be coming," she teased, her husky voice barely audible.

Kelly dropped his head on her pillow, relieved and happy. Happy for the first time in months. He was getting a second chance from a woman who didn't owe him a thing. He wasn't going to waste it.

Erin was left wondering how she could be so weak but fully aware of the answer as those piercing blue eyes met hers. Kelly crawled in the small hospital bed, a tired grin reaching across his face, and Erin could only shake her head. First, the forest sex, now…

* * *

**So there's one version of Badass Kelly. Let me know what y'all think. Next up, ? Do you want Hot Kelly (which means Jealous Erin shows up) or Hurt Kelly (shots fired, shots fired)?**


	4. Hurt Kelly Part I

**So here's another little imagined Linseride reunion. If only… hear our cries, Derek Haas. Haha!**

**This one is Hurt Kelly because what could be better than a reunion with a super caring, concerned, worried Erin? Uh, nothing. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

It was a slow as molasses, bored out of their skulls kind of shift. The firemen at 51 had cleaned every inch of their trucks, the kitchen, the showers … everything. Dawson was making her famous carne guisada, taking hours to ripen to full flavor and tenderness, nothing but time on her hands that day. She even threatened to whip up some homemade tortillas if their no-call streak of over 24 hours kept on.

"Aw, hell," griped Herrmann, "she jinxed it. We're gonna get a run."

"Definitely," agreed Mouch from his couch. "Good job, Dawson. We're in for a helluva day."

"Hey," reprimanded Casey. "Enough. We are not…" but before he could finish his sentence, the call came in.

_"Engine 51...Truck 81...Ambulance 61...Squad 3...Apartment Fire… West Village Court … PD on the scene..."_

Kelly Severide heard PD on the scene and nothing more. Nothing about the gang shooting, suspects holed up in the building, possible residents trapped inside. No, the fireman heard CPD on the scene and that was it.

Thoughts of a dimpled detective swirled in his mind. He was both hoping and dreading she might be at the rundown apartment. What the hell, he thought berating himself. All the cops in the damn city, there was no way she was gonna be there. No way.

Until she was there. Squad's truck rolled up and there she was, vest on, tight black jeans, scuffed black boots, and a snug light blue V-neck. Her hair pulled in a high ponytail, sweat glistening off her neck. Kelly stared at that sweat remembering the smell of it, of her.

He shook his head focusing on the fire before him. Small amounts of smoke streaming from the first floor only, people stumbling out, screaming coming from somewhere inside. Looked like a small blaze, should be easy to contain, he thought banishing thoughts of Erin Lindsay… and her scent … and those ever forming beads of sweat threatening to roll down the nape of her neck between those shoulder blades. Kelly shook his head again.

Voight and Halstead were also there. Severide hadn't even seen them at first, now taking note of how they were clearing everyone to the side of the building, rushing them off. Patrol showing up and taking over ushering duties while three of CPD's finest conferred with Boden.

Squad's lieutenant collected Rice and Capp to begin the sweep of the upper floors while Casey had Cruz and Herrmann by his side. They nodded at each other, quickly saying where they were going without having to.

"Hold up!" barked out Voight roughly before the firemen entered the building. "We've got some gang bangers shootin' the place up in there."

"We need you to wait until the CPD assesses the situation. Fall back," commanded Boden.

"No problem," said Kelly. "We'll let them suck in some more smoke then head in as the clean-up crew," chuckled Severide looking at Erin whose face registered nothing except a disdain for the fireman.

A window broke suddenly from the second floor, a flash of metal reflecting through some light smoke. Four shots rang out, one ricocheting off the hood of Voight's car.

Everyone dove to the pavement, Kelly landing on top of Erin. Halstead on top of him.

"Get - off - of -me," Erin sputtered out, flustered by more than the weight of two men on her.

"Uh, sorry, just instinct," Kelly said, rolling Jay off his back, holding a hand out to help the beautiful detective up.

Erin ignored the hand, choosing Halstead's instead. "Everyone okay?" she asked the two men, stealing a glance at the fireman as she brushed herself off.

Casey was up standing next to his counterpart watching the awkwardness play out, slight grin on his face despite the seriousness of the situation.

"I'm fine. Thanks for asking," Matt commented, silly grin spreading further across his face.

The grin was wiped clean away when a woman came running out of the building clutching her arm, blood pouring over her hand. "My babies! They have my babies!" she screamed running straight at Voight.

Hank held up a hand and she froze dead in her tracks. "Stop," he commanded before getting her to calm down enough to unleash the full story.

Her babies were two seven-year-old twins who were trying to get out of the burning building when the shooters grabbed the pair, calling them an "insurance policy."

"Situation just went critical," gruffed out Voight.

* * *

As Hank and Erin went at it, Kelly could picture her as a teen, arguing, stomping her foot, getting her way.

He was chuckling when she suddenly turned toward the firemen, Casey swatting him in the gut to straighten up.

"I'm going in with you," she said flatly to Kelly without making eye contact with him. "Halstead's heading up with you, Lieutenant," she added looking at Casey with a smile. "This gang, Adidas Boys, are real up and comers. You two keep the fire at bay, and we'll bring the fire power."

Those dimples were so damn intoxicating, Kelly watched those lips move staring at her face, not hearing a word.

"Let's go rescue those twins," she said, throwing on Dawson's turnout coat.

The cops looked more like they belonged at 51 than Intelligence. Kelly didn't know fire gear could be so sexy. He led the way in, still shaking his head at how Erin had Voight wrapped around that little finger.

They made their way up past two, figuring if the crew headed up, they'd be on three by now. The silence was eerie, not much smoke and no fire in sight.

"Fire Department, call out!" yelled Kelly down the hallway.

Erin slapped him hard across the back.

"What the hell?!" he proclaimed, turning around, scowl covering his face.

"Shut up," Erin hissed. "We want to 'get the jump' on the bad guys. That means keeping your trap shut!"

"Sorry, habit," he whispered. Kelly trudged forward, stopping before every closed door so Erin could storm in first. It went against every fiber of his being, but he did it.

"Looks like it's just us," he said as she rushed into the last door on that end of the building.

"Looks like it," she said stoically. "We need to check out the other side." Erin was off leading the way now, not worried about fire or smoke.

She took off her mask, letting it rest against her neck.

"Hey, leave that on," Kelly instructed. "Smoke can roll in quick, could be fire in the walls…" he explained.

Erin smiled lightly putting the mask back on her face.

"I'd feel better if you'd let me lead the way," he added moving in front of her.

"Whatever you want, Kelly," she said coolly.

It was the first time she'd used his name and it sounded so empty, so meaningless as it rolled off her tongue.

"So how have you been?" Severide asked stopping midway down a hallway.

"You are joking, right?" she asked, hand on her hip in a similar pose she'd used on Voight. "This is a joke?" Erin asked again, a smile that read anger not happiness pasted across her face.

"Erin, please, I'm tryin'." Kelly held up his hands, grin flashing on his lips.

"Oh, you're trying? I don't hear from you in seven months and now you want to know how I've been? I've been great, Kelly. Just great. Thanks for asking. Can we move on now?"

Move on. Perfect choice of words, she thought. That was exactly what she'd done. Erin blocked the fireman from her thoughts, banished him from her dreams and moved right along with her life. She'd started something with Jay, but Voight put the kibosh on it before it ever truly had a chance to flourish. The flirting and longing looks remained, but something beyond Hank prevented Erin from giving herself completely to her fellow cop.

Kelly spun around on his heels to face the detective. "I am sorry, Erin. Sorry I didn't let you in. I got no excuse except I went crazy, lost it. Lost my damn mind."

He turned back around, growing silent as he worked his way down the hall. Kelly's thoughts moving from one woman to another. Shay. Gone. Forever. Their always not lasting long enough.

"So were you ever going to talk to me? Ever?" asked Erin softly from behind. "If we hadn't run into each other today?"

Kelly turned back around. "Probably not. You do have that gun," he teased, taking a step toward the detective. Those hazel eyes peeking from behind that mask, the eyes that gave him so much, compassion, understanding, really everything he needed. God, he'd missed those eyes.

"Smart man," Erin answered maneuvering around Severide to take the lead, briefly flashing those dimples.

"You've been good?" Kelly tried again. "You look good."

"Really?" the detective's turn to spin around. "Can we just finish the sweep and get out of here?"

Erin had been radioing Voight along the way, nothing to report, just empty rooms and an irritating as hell fireman. Casey and Halstead getting no hits as well. The gang bangers and twins seemingly disappearing into thin air.

"Two more rooms, then we're outta here," Erin told Voight.

"Why don't you let me buy you a steak tomorrow night? You can dress up, I'll dress up. Let me make it up to you," Kelly asked needing her to say yes, desperately needing it, his eyes growing dark with remembered grief.

Kelly'd been brutally blindsided by life, or rather death. He'd come out on the other side, but would never be the same. His eyes tainted with the death of his best friend. He needed the lightness that Erin brought in his life, had always needed it, but couldn't take it when offered. One marriage and enough liquor to to drown a small town later, Kelly was ready now. But would Erin oblige?

"Because a steak makes it all better?" Erin looked at Kelly as if he must be crazy, suggesting a dinner date? "God, you're so cocky," she added before storming on ahead, a new wave of irritation sweeping over her. She removed her mask again feeling like she couldn't see as well with it on. Kelly followed suit, noting no smoke, no fire on this floor.

"I said I want to lead," pressed Kelly, moving the detective to the side, forging on ahead. "One last room."

Erin shoved the fireman roughly to the side as she swung open the door, in a surreal moment that seemed to freeze time for a split second. She looked at the men facing her, the brain taking a few extra seconds to comprehend.

Erin raised her gun, unable to shoot, two pairs of scared seven-year-old eyes pleading with her to help them.

The three gang members positioned behind an overturned coffee table weren't so timid, unloading a rain of bullets toward the detective and the fireman. Erin yanked the door shut as she fell to the floor, Kelly barreling her over.

They scrambled to their feet, Lindsay grabbing Kelly's hand leading him to an apartment two doors down.

"Voight! They're up here! Northeast side! Three of 'em. Boys are fine. Could use a little help," Erin clipped out, breathless.

Kelly couldn't catch his breath either, scanning the room for something they could get behind, settling on the couch. He figured they had a couple of minutes before the shooters were on them. He pushed the furniture to the middle of the room, taking Erin's hand, pulling her behind it. They sat, backs against the couch, chests rising and falling rapidly, trying to calm themselves, dig in for a fight.

"So that was instinct again?" asked Erin rubbing her sore shoulder.

"Nah, just an excuse to jump on top of you. Again," Kelly joked.

Erin couldn't help but let out a throaty laugh, trying to keep it down, also suspecting they were getting some unwelcome visitors soon. They were in a wordless conversation, one of we're in this together, we're gettin' out of this mess. The pair locked eyes as they heard the rumble of footsteps charging down the hallway. Erin gave a quick squeeze of Kelly's sweaty hand telling him silently that she's got this before taking aim at that door.

This time the gang bangers got a taste of metal as the detective unloaded her clip into one of them while the other two dove out of the way. The twins were nowhere in sight.

"Need you up here, now!" Erin spat out between breaths, trying to put in a new clip, her fingers slippery and not cooperating. She stared at her bloody fingers and knew what she was looking at before she rushed to Kelly's side. Voight's gruff voice blaring in her earpiece now dangling down by her neck.

"Kelly, talk to me," Erin said, terrified, but knowing fear kills. She kept her voice even and hands steady.

"Huh? What?" he asked coming out of some sort of fog, his hand clutching his side.

Erin moved his hand, staring at the spread of darkness inch outward on his dark blue shirt. "Let me look," she said softly, thoughts of guns and gang members pushed far away. She pulled up his shirt not ready to face the single bullet hole seeping out blood on the left side of his rib cage. She desperately searched the pockets of Dawson's turnout coat, finding some knit scarf thing.

"Hank, I need a bus. Severide's shot. I need you, now," Erin's voice cracked as she pressed down on the wound with both hands.

Kelly stifled down a groan. "I'm okay. We gotta get outta here," he mumbled, looking at the window.

"Push on this hard, Kelly. You hear me?" Erin asked, moving to the window. It was stuck shut but more disheartening were the burglar bars staring her in the face. "Damn!" she cried in frustration, still trying to pry the thing open.

"What?" Kelly asked, breathing hard, the rise and fall of his chest moving so quickly, too fast.

Erin was back at his side. "Window's stuck, but it's okay," she said smiling. "Voight'll be up here in a few minutes."

"Let me try," the fireman suggested, trying to push up on one knee.

There was a shuffling behind the door. "Kelly, stay put." Erin put a hand over his hand and squeezed before leveling her gun at the door. It cracked open and she unloaded again, but now there were other shots being fired from down the hall. Her team. It had to be her team.

"The cavalry's here, Kel. You hear me?" Erin asked pushing on the blood soaked scarf, stickiness squeezing out of it. He didn't respond, eyes now shut tight. "Kelly. Look at me," Erin tried again, against the soundtrack of a gunfight playing out in the background.

The fireman pried open his eyes, so hard, too hard. He vaguely knew something was seriously wrong, but he couldn't shake it. "Erin." He tried to smile at her but a cough came out instead, laced with blood.

"You are not doing this," Erin commanded, those hazel eyes brimming over with tears. "You promised me a steak, remember?" she asked, trying to wipe his mouth with her bloody hands.

Kelly shook his head no, closing his eyes again. He was hot and cold and exhausted, too tired to look at her beautiful face anymore. The blackness was welcoming, he could feel his body relax. He hadn't realized he was trying so hard to breathe, it felt good to not try anymore.

"Shay," he exhaled, a gurgling sound finishing the name. His body was trembling, Erin now laying next to him, pushing on his wound, the length of her pressed against him trying to quiet the shaking.

"You will not see Shay! You are not leaving me!" she yelled out just as Voight and Halstead burst through the door, leaving dead gang bangers to continue bleeding in the hall.

* * *

**Well, this is another two-parter because I really want to stretch out the Erin caring and concern as Kelly's life hangs in the balance. After part two, we'll be headed for some lighter fare - Hot Kelly which means Jealous Erin. What do y'all think?**


	5. Hurt Kelly Part II

**Thanks so much for all the reviews from my regulars (love ya) and my new friends, means so much! Kim Maddox, how can it be wrong when it feels so right? LOL. Here's the wrap up of Kelly Hurt. Hope you enjoy! Happy Sunday, y'all.**

* * *

Mills pushed everyone out of the way, Brett letting him take the lead. Her hands were shaking at seeing one of their own looking so bloody, so pale … so dead. Déjà vu set in with the blonde wondering if this man could cheat death again.

"Got a pulse. We need to intubate now," Pete instructed, saying the words as he cleared his former lieutenant's airway. We've been down this road, he thought trying to shove his feelings under, look at Severide as just another victim. With Kelly's pulse oximeter reading headed up, Mills rolled him gently on his side with Sylvie lifting his shirt, feeling and looking all along his back.

Kelly would have screamed if he could have. He didn't think it was possible for his side to hurt more until Pete turned him over a little to prove him wrong. He heard Erin's voice sounding angry, so angry. He felt his body shiver in some uncontrollable dance before blackness finally took him.

"He's not gonna like that thing down his throat," Erin commented pacing back and forth. "No, not one bit," she snorted looking down at Kelly, noticing when Brett shook her head no and Mills answered with a, "Damn."

"No exit wound," Sylvie said to a room that had grown so quiet, the silence almost afraid to break, as if that would tip the scales out of the fireman's favor.

Voight grabbed his detective roughly, taking her in his arms with such force there was no escape. He pulled her out into the hallway, "Erin, it's okay. You did good today. It's okay." Hank stroked her head as she tried to pull away furiously.

"No, no," Lindsay said hanging onto her composure by a thread, a sliver of a thread about to snap. She looked down at Kelly as the paramedics rolled him out. The worry in their eyes said this was not okay, the look on the fireman's face was one she'd seen before. It was the look on Jules' face right before they lowered her six feet under.

"Hank," Erin's raspy voice broke just as she did. "Oh God," she cried clawing at his chest, the only thing holding her up his strong arms, nothing able to hold her together.

* * *

The waiting room was packed with all of 51 silent, no Herrmann jokes, no Mouch bitching, just a somber cloud of fear filling up the small space. Voight insisted Erin get checked out, so that left Halstead waiting awkwardly with a bunch of firemen. He sighed with relief when Antonio showed up to check on his sis and Severide.

"Hey man, any word?" he asked Jay, the echo of his voice bouncing off the walls as he slid into an empty seat between the cop and Gabby.

"Nothing yet," Halstead replied, worried about the dazed look he saw in Erin's face. He recognized that look in his buddies coming back from a harrowing patrol. "Will said she's in shock, but she'll be okay."

"Severide?" Antonio asked in a low tone.

"Erin said he was talking about Shay…" Jay commented.

"Aw, hell," Herrmann called out. "That ain't good," he added unnecessarily.

"There is no way Shay wouldn't be telling Kelly to fight, so if anything she's watching over him… somewhere. He's gotta feel that, feel her," Gabby interrupted, burying her face in her brother's chest.

"Kelly's gonna be just fine. He ain't gonna let some gang banger wannabe end his career as a firefighter. The way he laughed in the face of the black tag this one's brother wanted to put on him. Please…" Herrmann nodded toward Jay with a look of revulsion.

Erin walked in at the tail end of the conversation, being held up by Voight. "What? You got word?" she asked scanning the eyes in the room for some news.

"Not yet, but we expect some good news soon," Boden said reassuring the group wondering if they could take another death, fearing they couldn't.

"What were they saying about a black tag? And Will?" Erin asked Halstead taking the empty seat next to him.

"I told you about it," Jay answered. "Severide was caught by that grenade in the ER, they fixed him up, he was out in a couple of days, remember?" He knew he hadn't relayed the whole story, but he also knew that if she gave a damn she'd be in contact with the fireman. They hadn't talked in almost a year. The guy had been hurt, and she didn't check on him, call him, nothing. Jay knew that for a fact. Halstead told himself the man meant nothing to the woman he had just tried to start something with.

"The _other_ Halstead wanted to put Kelly in a body bag," Herrmann pitched in. "And hell yeah he was out in two days. Same thing this time. I'm takin' bets, people," he added, eliciting grumbles of laughter from the men.

Erin remained silent finding no humor in the situation, just a sadness that they'd let it get to this. Someone she shared time with almost died and she didn't have a clue. And now he was what? Dying? Leaving forever? She needed to see him, talk to him, hold him … Erin could hardly breathe as Voight led her out of the waiting room, knowing she needed an escape now. She was slipping, slipping fast.

"Hank, what's wrong with me? I don't see him in months, but now…" Erin let those last little parts of herself break. She was leaning heavily on her sergeant, not caring who was watching.

"I'd tell ya, but I don't think you wanna hear it, kid," Voight rasped out, hating how his girl was hurting.

"Where's Camille when I need her?" Erin asked softly.

"I ask myself that every day, every damn day," he replied, thinking of the 33 years the two shared, married so young. For better or for worse, he'd filled many of the days with worse, but she loved him through all of it. Hank hoped Erin would find that, wondering if she already had.

* * *

Kelly was trying to swim to the surface, but his mind was protesting, and so was his body. His ribcage felt… how? Like it was being crushed by some weight, one that wouldn't budge. He tried to move, to push it off, but nothing seemed to be working. He felt submerged, as if he couldn't breathe, the pressure too much, but somehow he _was_ breathing, rhythmically. His efforts to open his eyes would fall away suddenly and Kelly would be back in a comforting darkness. The seesaw would tip and he'd be semi-conscious again, struggling to push back to the land of the living.

Erin was in a chair beside his bed, pulled up close, studying his face. The hours of surgery, Will Halstead's confusing report, it had all been too much. The day of fighting for their lives had turned into a night of Kelly fighting for his. And now Erin couldn't leave. Voight pleaded, Jay insisted, but she couldn't walk out.

Kelly felt her eyes on him and tried to keep his drowsy lids open, every now and then stealing a glance at her through the tiniest slits. He helplessly drifted off feeling like he was drowning in some bottomless ocean.

The fireman slipped in and out of consciousness for hours, his injured chest throbbing in those waking moments. When he finally woke for more than a minute, he was in a cloudy fog, trying to rub his eyes to sharpen his vision, but his hands weren't cooperating. The first thing he saw was Erin, causing him to try at a weak smile, the room seemingly bathed in a haze of fuzzy cotton.

Kelly leaned forward toward Erin and regretted it immediately, his side exploding in pain. That pain ended up reclaiming him to the darkness before she could even say a word.

She murmured it anyways, "Kelly," touching his head, gently stroking his short hair. "Kelly, come back. Come on," she whispered in his ear, his eyes moving beneath the lids. She somehow knew he could hear her.

By morning he was yanked out of a Shay and Erin dream-filled sleep. His mouth was so dry, his throat so raw he didn't think he could speak, so he smiled instead, bringing tears to the detective's eyes.

The vent was gone, Erin thought he'd look better. Will Halstead said it was a good step.

"That bullet left a path of destruction, but he's a tough son of a bitch," Will said wondering what was going on with this woman, the fireman, and his brother. "He's breathing on his own. We'll take him up for another scan in a few hours, but I don't foresee any complications. I fixed him up pretty good, if I do say so myself," he added with a wink and that Halstead grin. Erin could see the resemblance and felt a comfort knowing there was some connection with the doctor in charge of getting Kelly back.

"You look like hell," Severide rasped out sounding more like Voight than himself. His lips were cracked and dry, eyes rimmed red, definitely the one looking like death had come knocking.

"Hey, you're back," Erin said smiling, her hand running along Kelly's arm.

"So I got shot?" Severide asked, his laugh broken in a coughing fit.

"Don't talk, Kelly," Erin turned to go get a nurse, but the fireman grabbed her wrist with surprising strength.

"I'm okay," he assured, the tired eyes saying he needed her right there, more than he could ever admit.

"Sure you are," Erin shook her head no contradicting her words. Later, she'd say it was total exhaustion, sleep deprivation that made her say more. Confessional time not something she was familiar with. "Kelly, you scared me," Erin's voice quivered and the expression on her face told Kelly all he needed to hear, but she went on. "I can't lose you. I can't." Her hazel eyes were overflowing, "I don't even have you, but I can't lose you."

"You got me Lindsay," Kelly breathed out, too tired for the words, but forcing them. He wanted her to know, just in case things went south.

* * *

It was a couple of days filled with soul searching for the detective. Erin was tapping a pencil mercilessly at her desk, her mind not on her work, still lingering back at Chicago Med. Herrmann's proclaimed two-day hospital stay turned into five, the first two being the hardest. Erin still couldn't believe all she'd done and said. On the third day, Kelly could carry on a conversation for more than two minutes. By the fourth day, he was back to being Kelly.

"I think I'm gettin' outta here today," he told Erin enthusiastically. "You can finally pay up on that steak you owe me." His thoughts filing through all that had gone on with the detective. What all this meant. Couldn't be nothing, he told himself, fumbling with his phone.

"Today? That's great, I'll see if I can break away," Erin looked at the grumpy face of Voight thinking it might be a tough trick to pull off, but one she'd done many times. "And I could swear you said _you_ were buying me that steak." Erin was smiling now, all the cops in the bull pen noticing.

"I was thinkin' that if a guy took a bullet for you, he deserved a steak. At _least_ a steak," Kelly joked remembering how unreceptive she was at the last steak proposition.

"Took a bullet for me, huh? Thought it was instinct, Kel," Erin lightly laughed. She knew part of it may have been instinct but a large part was that it had been her. He was making no dives to cover Hank. She was also wrestling with the realization that it hadn't all been dumb luck or dumb misfortune that had given them this second chance, if that's what it was. She had purposely told Voight she was going into the building with Severide, wanting _him_ at her side. Was she hoping for a re-connect all along?

"Maybe not all instinct," he admitted. "Hey, Erin," he added, "thanks for showing up, for all this." He cleared his throat uncomfortably before hurriedly hanging up, nurses coming in to draw blood, run a few more tests.

As Erin set her phone down, her thoughts continued, daydreaming about a fireman. She drifted to his strong arms around her after the hospital bombing, her arms around him after Shay died, the last time she'd seen him for a long, long while. The comfort she felt in her bed feeling him breathing next to her, not leaving. His eyes always so clear and piercing, they say the window to the soul. Kelly's were, his mood written on them like a shorthand for the world to see.

She searched her heart, her mind for the anger she felt toward him … coming up empty, feeling none of it now.

* * *

"What happened to getting out today?" Erin asked a fireman with a distinct scowl on his face. "You sure it wasn't a ploy to get me here?"

The scowl evaporated into a grin, "That must be it."

"So what happened?" Erin was at his side, running her hand along his hair, smoothing it back.

"One more night they tell me," he grumbled out.

"Well, I'll help you pass the time. If you want."

"I want. What's in the bag? Paying up on the steak?" Kelly made a grab at the sack with Erin pulling it away.

"Whoa, big guy. I'm pretty sure you can't have a big ole steak yet, so I brought something else." She swung the brown bag in front of Kelly like a pendulum clock.

"Uh, I'm pretty sure you're wrong, can eat anything I want," Severide protested.

"Well let's get Will in here so I can ask him."

"Just show me what's in the damn bag, Lindsay," Kelly said realizing he was on the losing end of this battle. Hell he would probably be on the losing end of any battle with the beautiful detective. He imagined the possibility of more battles to come, smile growing wider.

"I may have gone to the Spicy Monkey and picked up a few things to choose from," Erin teased letting the aromas from the bag float in front of Kelly. They'd ordered take out from the soup place with Kelly saying soup "ain't dinner" sure he would need a full meal after the soup. She remembered his face after eating a bowl of their famous clam chowder, even making him apologize for doubting her.

"Chicken Gumbo? Oh, hell yeah," Severide was reaching for the bag again.

"No, nothing spicy from the Spicy Monkey tonight There's fresh tomato, chicken noodle and vegetable broth," the detective unloaded the to-go bowls on the tray in front of Kelly.

"Broth?" he asked wanting more than a darn bouillon cube taking a bath in water.

He ate the soup. And his words. It was all his stomach could handle, maybe more, but it beat the hell out of a feeding tube or the hospital meals he'd experienced.

"Erin, thanks for passing the time with me," Kelly said smiling, contentedly closing his eyes, leaning his head back against his pillow.

"Mmm, hmm," she answered kissing him on the cheek.

"I wanna pass more time with you," he confessed, opening his eyes. "Way more time."

"That can be arranged," Erin concurred, kissing him again this time on the lips. Done _wasting_ time, she thought. So done. "How much time are we talking about here, fireman?" the brunette asked, her dimples running deep. She was well aware of the effect they had on the man before her.

"As much time as you'll give me," Kelly answered honestly, those second chances not comin' around that often. They had to grab it, hold onto it for dear life.

"All you want," Erin replied softly, taking his face in her hands, holding it tight.

Kelly brought Erin in closer, so close her breath was hot on his neck. "I want it all," he said, never meaning something more in his life, Kelly squeezing her body into his, wordlessly vowing to hold on and never let go.

* * *

**Yes, I left this one a tease with no sexy time. I could write 152 Hurt Kelly's but up next is Hot Kelly leading to Jealous Erin and some sparks will be igniting. Many more ideas, so not sure how many this will go to. The possibilities are endless. Thanks to StageDiva for her suggestions, many are going to make their way into this one!**


	6. Sad Erin

**Okay, this one was supposed to be Jealous Erin but morphed into Sad Erin/Worried Sad Sev because of all the tragical tragedies on ChiFi and CPD in recent weeks. Hope you still like it. I'll do a true Jealous Erin soon. The request for Hurt Erin is next. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Chief, what're the chances of me skippin' the banquet this time around?" Kelly asked working his hand across his face then up through his hair. That damn fancy pants shindig was the last place Severide wanted to be.

Boden paused, wishing the whole house could skip the affair. Severide and Dawson had almost been toast at a warehouse fire less than 48 hours ago, 51 had to get rid of Scott Rice, a move he knew was particularly hard on Kelly, and Casey was still missing. It had been hard on all of them, Gabby putting in for leave, the guys on truck needing their missing leader.

Voight had said, "we're on it" which was basically a stay out of the CPD's way. "We know who's got him, it's just a matter of time. We'll get your lieutenant back," the sergeant had vowed to the chief.

Boden was unconvinced, knowing every minute was like another nail in a coffin. He needed his remaining lieutenant to buck up, lead his men, lead all the men and show up at the 100 Club's Heroes Banquet. Severide had missed last year, the event coming on the heels of Shay's death.

"Kelly, I need you there. Your men need you there," Boden answered, hoping there would be no fight, not sure he could take a fight.

"Got it, chief. Thought it was worth a shot," Severide answered, reading that look in chief's eyes. He knew the answer was comin' but thought it was worth a shot.

He was on the phone to April before he reached squad's table.

"Hey, can you spare an hour or so tomorrow? Gotta buy a new monkey suit and that's not my area," he asked, remembering the last woman who helped him pick out his one and only suit. They'd made a day of it, Shay forcing him to try on every color, every style, some so tight he could barely get one leg in.

"Slim suits are in, Kelly," she pleaded from behind the drape in the dressing room.

"This ain't slim, this is torture," he replied, slipping the pants off and his jeans back on. "I need some breathin' room," he added. "_They_ need some breathin' room."

"Ew. Gross," Shay commented, shoving her hand behind the curtain, forcing another suit in his face.

When he came out, she was silent for once. "This is it," she said, nodding her head, forcing him to turn around so she could see the back. "Yep. This is it. You look perfect. Your ass looks pretty good too," she snorted.

The more traditional cut was one Kelly felt comfortable in, nothing trendy, more old school and definitely one that the fireman could see wearing to the banquet year after year. And he'd done just that with Gabby commenting that he might want to "retire that thing" at the event year before last.

April was game for suit shopping, just back from her around the world trek that left more questions than answers. She'd taken off after taking a Seve-ride, fulfilling years of wondering what _it_ would be like with her high school best friend. Now that the question had been answered to perfection, the pair were back in the friendzone. April hadn't taken the Scott Rice firing well.

"What the hell is he supposed to do now?" she yelled, finding out Scott had been unceremoniously dumped at 51. "He has a kid! No wife! This is all he knows!"

"Didn't have much of a choice, April," Kelly explained. "He was ditchin' on calls, puttin' my men at risk."

"So that's it?" she asked, not understanding or believing that Kelly could leave one of his own so high and dry, not hearing the reasons behind it.

"That ain't it. I called Arson, they're interviewing him next week. If that doesn't work out I'll give the Academy a call…" the fireman knew his friend wouldn't want either of those jobs. Hell, he wouldn't want 'em, but no choice. No damn choice.

April had come around once she listened, really listened to how Scott wasn't ready to come back, how he'd bailed on a couple of calls. She was willing to help out her buddy find a suit, but that was it. By the time April arrived for the shopping date, she'd made up her mind they could only be friends.

"But that night, you gotta admit was, was…" Kelly searched for the right words.

"Wow, just wow," April admitted, the feeling of that night hard to push away. "But Kelly, we've always been friends, we'll always be friends. It's better if we leave it like that," she insisted.

"So we're breakin' up before we even get started?" he asked confused thinking they'd have a few repeat performances of that night.

"We weren't ever together to break up, silly," April tried again, interlocking her arm in his, the strength of it making her all warm inside.

"Somethin' happened. What'd I do? Just tell me what it is and…" Kelly wasn't used to being told no, couldn't remember the last time that had happened.

"Nothing you did. Honestly, Kelly," April sighed heavily contemplating whether she should reveal more. "We had that firefighter from 5 come in, the lieutenant…"

All the puzzle pieces fell into place. A light bulb went off in that Severide brain. Squad's lieutenant from 5 had been caught in a house fire, down in the basement when the first floor gave out. His men pulled him out but he had 3rd degree burns over 65% of his body. He'd died the same night they brought him in.

"Watching his wife, his kids … I just can never…" April tried to explain, the weight of seeing the fireman's family gathered around his bed as he took his last breaths was enough to push Kelly out of the realm of possibilities.

"That ain't happenin' to me. Ever. 100% guarantee it," Kelly teased. "And it don't seem right to end somethin' that could be good. Really good."

"It's not fair but that's the way it is," April kissed him on the cheek. "Still friends?" she asked, her bright smile lightening the mood.

"Always," Kelly said, kissing her on the top of her head, reminding him of another friend, one he still missed daily.

* * *

Kelly showed up at the banquet alone, hard to ignore the memories of the last time he went to this thing with a gorgeous blonde on his arm. Shay. He shook his head trying to throw off the memory, replacing it with the worry of his truck counterpart still missing. No leads on the whereabouts of his friend or Jack Nesbitt. He wanted to get out there, felt wrong to be sittin' on his ass doing nothing.

The first thing he saw as he entered the huge dining hall was Voight and Antonio at a table reserved for IU. Kelly headed straight for it, glad April turned down his request for her to be his date, saying she had to work. She wouldn't want to see this, he thought, balling up his fists.

He pulled out a chair roughly almost slamming it down as he moved it right between the two cops.

"Glad to see you two could make it to this party tonight, get out, eat a good dinner," he said smiling directly at Voight.

"We came because we had to. After this we're back to it. We're gonna find your friend," Hank rasped out, keeping his anger in check.

"Kelly, we're not giving up," Antonio tried, putting a hand on the fireman's arm, trying to extinguish his outburst.

Kelly pulled his arm away, "And you. Using your sister to get Matt to agree to this. If he's not in one piece…" Severide pushed out from his chair, slamming both hands on the table, wanting to slam much more. He glared at both, leaving before he did succumb to putting a head through wood.

He walked to the nearest wall, sweating now, loosening his tie, scanning the room for his brothers at 51. He was leaning against the wall, heart still pounding when he saw Erin enter the banquet hall. Hard to miss that one.

Her hair hung in loose waves, some strange mix that said formal without trying too hard. The slightly messy look mesmerized the fireman who wondered how he could forget how beautiful she was. His gaze finally wandered down, taking in her emerald green dress and all that was beneath it. The off the shoulder cut that skimmed every curve said simple elegance. The only thing missing was the brightness he could always spot in her eyes. He recognized that look. It was the one he held for so many months after Shay. Weird how his life was now divided before and after his best friend.

Kelly resisted the urge to say something to the detective, offer a lame "I'm sorry" about the loss of your friend. Jay Halstead was by her side hands running along her bare shoulders in a way that said more than partners. No mistaking that. Kelly knew he blew it with the brunette. He also knew he'd done what he had to do. No sense in fading into a "what if" wonderland. Shay's death showed him that those thoughts led to nothing but sadness and disappointment. Nothing could change the past, no matter how much you wished it could.

Kelly finally spotted Boden standing up scanning the banquet hall, he figured looking for him, everyone else situated around the table. The fireman pulled his tie clean off letting it hang limply from his hand as he headed for the table, head down. He went the long way around to avoid IU's table, not happy that 51 was just two tables away. Thankfully, the seat open for him was facing the stage, not a beautiful detective.

Erin watched as Kelly plopped down throwing his tie on the table. She watched as Chief Boden pat his fireman on the back, as Cindy Hermann came around to hug the lieutenant. Her eyes kept tracking back to Kelly. Why the hell couldn't she look away for more than a few minutes? She stared at the back of his head as he ate his dinner while she mostly shuffled food around. She only half listened as Voight replayed the Severide threats to Ruzek and Olinsky.

"What a dick," Adam commented, squeezing Kim's hand.

"He's worried about Casey. We're all worried about him. We did get him into this mess. We gotta get him out," Dawson defended Kelly without meaning to.

"And we will. Once we're done with all this bullshit, we're heading back to 21. Erin, Ruzek, you got the night off," Hank's gruff voice commanded.

"I don't need…" Erin began to argue.

"I didn't ask," Voight warned, drawing silence from his table. "When is this show gettin' on the road?" he added pulling at his tie.

* * *

One hour after dinner was served and the awards hadn't even started, Kelly growing more frustrated. Things took a turn for the better when he felt a pair of arms around his neck.

"Hey, good looking," April giggled kissing him on the cheek.

Kelly turned around revealing the only real smile he'd managed all night.

"What're you doin' here?" he asked getting up, embracing his friend in a big hug.

"Oh, I can leave if you want," she threatened, balling up a fist in his face.

"No, no," he answered holding up both hands defensively. "I'm so glad you made it. What happened?"

"Slow night, got called off. Had this old thing lying around and thought what the hell." April twirled around to let Kelly and half the hall take in her skintight, sleeveless black dress that had turned every head as she strolled to the fireman's table. Erin had watched the parade walk somehow knowing she was heading to Severide.

"Thanks," Kelly said kissing her on the forehead. "You look amazing," he added honestly. He pulled out his chair looking around for a free one to add to the table.

Dawson was at his side, peace offering one up. "Here ya go," he said sliding it next to April.

"Uh, thanks, Antonio," Kelly said awkwardly, not wanting to introduce his friend, but her look said he better. "April, meet Antonio Dawson. Antonio, this is April," he said formally, wanting to add "the asshole that got my friend kidnapped."

"Nice to meet you," April said rising from her chair shaking the detective's hand.

"Hi Kelly." There was no mistaking that throaty voice. Erin.

"Erin," Kelly breathed out softly, turning around to find the brunette just a few feet in front of him now. "How are you?" he asked noticing the not quite concealed dark circles under her eyes.

"Mmmm, you know," she answered quietly, shrugging her shoulders. What the hell was she doing? What the hell had she been doing the past two weeks? Sex with a stranger, pushing away her team, seeking solace in Bunny? She knew she was spiraling out of control, but couldn't control it. Didn't want to control it. Something felt so right in the chaos, like the world was going crazy, she was going crazy and that's the way it should be. How could things just go back to normal after Nadia? They couldn't. She'd impulsively walked to Kelly, like some moth to a flame, and now she felt like she was dying.

The raw, vulnerable look in Erin's eyes, Kelly couldn't resist it. He stepped forward taking her in his arms, her head involuntarily resting against his chest. It was the safest place Erin had resided in for two weeks, since Nadia…

The world fell away as the award ceremony was beginning. Dawson had shuffled back to his table. April was done waiting for an introduction, sitting uncomfortably next to chief.

"Let's get a coffee. Soon," Kelly whispered, letting her go but not wanting to.

"I'd like that," Erin answered, both her hands in his. She pulled away, their fingertips sliding apart. "I better get back," she said nodding toward her table. Erin glanced over her shoulder once to see Kelly still watching her, standing.

He finally sat down, mind on the detective and the sadness coming from those hazel eyes. "Uh, sorry, should've introduced you," he said almost as an aside, remembering the woman sitting right next to him. April's hand slipped into his.

"It's okay. I can tell something went down with you two, but you don't owe me anything. Not even in introduction," April was smiling, meaning every word. Her hand went up Kelly's arm. stroking it softly.

"Leslie Shay. Paramedic. Hero."

Kelly's attention snapped forward, to the podium, what were they saying? They were talkin' about Shay. His Shay.

He focused on the last words of some random deputy chief talking about Shay like he knew her. His eyes flashed to Chief, searching Boden, accusing Boden.

"This is the first I heard of this," Chief gruffed out, anger boiling. Hell yes, Shay deserved the recognition, but for them to be blindsided with the honor, to not be involved in the planning, didn't make sense.

Kelly stared at his tie on the table, looking at the knot, the half Windsor. Shay'd insisted that this was the "handsomest" of all knots and Kelly better pay attention and learn it. She ended up timing him, not satisfied until he could do it with his eyes closed. He closed his eyes now, holding the tie in his hands, feeling the knot, fighting back the wetness forming in his eyes. He felt a hand on his back, rubbing small circles around and around. April.

"You okay?" she whispered, leaning in so close.

"I'm good," Kelly answered, opening his eyes, wiping one with the back of his hand.

"Sure you are," April commented, pulling him in for a hug. "This is a good thing. They're honoring your friend."

"Yeah, yeah, of course it is. Just not expectin' it." He put his head down, not wanting to relive that day all over again. He'd done that enough. Enough to last a lifetime.

The deputy chief was calling for all of 51 to join him on stage, a giant picture of Shay's face now being projected behind him.

Erin was staring at the 51 table, more specifically Kelly. God, she couldn't imagine what was going through his mind. He looked like he wanted to cut and run. Instead she watched as he got up with all his brothers and headed to the front. She fought the urge to join him, grab his hand and pull him to the stage. Or grab his hand and run. Get the hell out of there. The suffocating feel of the place. He had to be feeling that too.

Chief said something about all of them missing Shay, everything else a muffled sound of incoherent words in Kelly's ears. He blocked out everything, everyone. His only goal was to make it back to the table in one piece. Then he was leaving.

Numb, he ambled back, not bothering to sit down. "Going to the bathroom," he said to April, rushing off to the back, no idea where it was. She got up to follow but Boden gently grabbed her wrist. "Give him a few minutes," he said.

April sat back down but another woman two tables down was up, heading after Kelly.

"Kelly," Erin called after the fireman.

He stopped and dropped his head, not turning around.

Erin came up behind him, putting one hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she whispered, saying the words not just for Kelly, not only for Shay, but for so much more. Sorry for what happened to Nadia, sorry for her part in the death…

Kelly turned around, taking her hands in his, kissing the tops of them. "I'm sorry, Erin. Sorry you lost your friend, Shoulda called…"

"I wouldn't have listened, probably wouldn't have even answered," she laughed sadly.

They stared at each other for a long couple of minutes. Things said without a word. Finally, Erin broke the silence.

"I could really use that coffee," she rasped out, her voice uncharacteristically wavering.

"Now?" asked Kelly, smiling at the thought. The thought of ditching the event, of leaving, not looking back.

"Yeah, now," she answered, not wanting to go back to her table, to see the look of pity in her team's eyes. So sick of that look.

Kelly grabbed her hand, digging for his keys in his pocket. They picked up speed as they drew close to the front entrance, as if someone was going to stop them, stop their escape. Kelly burst through the glass doors, the air hitting them in the face, freeing, the stifling atmosphere released. They were free.

* * *

Coffee was back at Erin's place. And coffee led to beer. And beer led to the bedroom.

Erin let Kelly unzip her dress, hearing his breath catch as the garment hit the floor. He softly ran his hands over her arms, so gentle but so strong. He kicked off his shoes, his pants, throwing them haphazardly to the side. She helped him with his shirt and the million little buttons his fingers were suddenly too clumsy to handle. He stopped her from slipping off her panties, instead taking off his undershirt and pushing it over her head. She looked at him quizzically wondering what he was up to.

Erin grabbed his hands, leading him to her bed, both sliding under the covers. Kelly groaned as her smooth legs ran between his.

"Come here," he said rolling on his back, pulling her into his chest. "This is all we're gonna do tonight." Kelly held her tight, stroking the back of her head, kissing the top of it. "This is what you need," he stated simply, feeling her roll further into him. Feeling her body begin to shake. Feeling the wetness from her eyes soak into his skin. Feeling all of her. Feeling her breath eventually steady into a rhythm that signaled sleep.

* * *

**More coming soon! Thanks for reading.**


	7. Hurt Erin

Jay Halstead easily kicked out the air conditioning unit, freeing himself from the burning building. He hopped out of the window and ran to the locked door, the death trap of fire and smoke about to be opened. Heart racing, Jay breathed a sigh of relief as he reached for the lock, not knowing what was right behind him.

Erin was sure Halstead would bust through that door, super-hero saving her life any second now. Any second. Ruzek was sprawled on the warehouse floor gasping for air. Erin crawled toward the locked door, eyes trying to prod it open. It wasn't happening. "Jay!" she coughed out, eyes burning, chest weighted down, so heavy, breathing becoming impossible.

Halstead was lying unconscious just outside the door, his fingers barely touching the lock before he was cold cocked from behind.

"Who's in the mood for bacon?" Tre laughed, watching the cop fall to the ground. "I smell some pigs being fried," he continued, tapping his partner on the arm signaling for them to get the hell out of there.

The two peeled out in their blue Camaro, laughter echoing inside, thoughts of cops butting in where they didn't belong, fleeting thoughts, gone by the time they were three stoplights away.

Erin closed her eyes tightly, tears escaping the corners, her mouth gaping open and shut like a fish desperate for water. She couldn't find enough oxygen, her lungs feeling like they'd been ripped from her chest. The heat was rivaling the smoke now, both combining to form a hellish torture chamber that held no value for human life. It couldn't end like this, not like this.

Death had entered the warehouse, circling, calling for someone to join him.

* * *

Kelly Severide jumped out of his truck, barking instructions at his men as he surveyed the warehouse. He felt his adrenaline rising in the controlled way that allowed him to do things mere mortals could only dream of. That familiar rush taking over, all business, always good at what he did. Save lives.

Chili and Brett were already on scene treating someone at the door. Kelly's eyes snapped wide as a flicker of recognition hit his brain. It was Halstead.

Jay was coming to, mumbling something…

"Erin, Erin…" he groaned, pushing Chili's hand away from his head.

Kelly ran past Halstead, the paramedics, pushing on despite the calls from Boden to hold up. He ran to and through the door not thinking about waiting for a vent, about assessing the situation, about what his men were doing. Erin. He saw that look in Jay's eyes, heard him utter her name, it was all he needed to know.

Erin was in that death trap, in trouble, maybe hurt, maybe worse. Not on my watch. He was getting her out of there now. Every second so precious, he knew that a few minutes could mean the difference between life and death.

As he pushed in, heavy smoke almost bowled him over. Shit. Erin was in there, no mask, no gear. He began his sweep, taking only a few steps before stumbling over a body. Sweeping off his mask, he forced it on her face, not liking how unresponsive she was. He scooped her up and ran outside screaming for a waiting Brett and Chili.

Erin's face was an unrecognizable black, a mask Kelly'd seen many times. Victims who had been in too long, deprived of air, lungs no longer pumping in life sustaining oxygen.

"Erin!" he yelled, picking up her limp hand, seemingly lifeless hand. "Erin! C'mon!" he yelled again watching in horror as Chili took charge, rattling off instructions to Brett. He squeezed harder, willing Erin to squeeze back, show some sign of life.

Nothing came. Things couldn't end like this. They couldn't end like this. Strangers. They'd become strangers over the past year and he knew it was his fault.

Kelly felt emotion rising in his chest, threatening to boil to the surface. More time. He thought they'd have more time. There was always tomorrow to reconnect with this woman who'd been there for him offering up that soft shoulder. He could feel his face resting in the security of it, her hair so silky smooth, smelling like no other woman he'd been with. Kelly opened his eyes not even realizing he'd closed them in some sort of silent plea, maybe prayer, that Erin would spring to life.

Sylvie ran a quick hand over his shoulder signalling that they were loading her up in the ambo. He looked in the blonde's eyes, asking for some hope. She offered up none.

* * *

Kelly rushed into Chicago Med straight from the warehouse in full turnout gear. He stripped off his coat, wiping his dirty hand across his grimy face.

The waiting room was full of cops, all sitting, forlorn desperation reading on every face. He knew he didn't belong there, hell he didn't even belong in Erin's life anymore. He didn't give a damn. Voight was the only one standing, scaling the room in a couple of strides to greet the fireman.

"Thank you," he said gruffly, extending a hand to the lieutenant, knowing this man had saved Erin, his girl.

"Any word?" Kelly asked, fear settling in, fear of the response. Erin had to pull through. He needed that second chance. That tomorrow.

"She's alive. We know she's alive," Hank wiped his face against a sleeve, looking like a man twice his age.

You could say many things about the CPD veteran, but one thing Severide was sure of was that he loved Erin like a daughter. Whatever the beef between 51 and 21, Kelly could never fault him on his loyalty to the female detective. He knew the older cop would gladly trade places with Erin.

Halstead meandered into the small room shortly after the fireman's arrival, met with hugs and pats from all the cops. Kelly gave up his seat so the detective could sit down, his head heavily bandaged.

Voight whispered an update, the younger man growing paler with each word. "I am so sorry. I shoulda…" Jay mumbled, his hand touching his head.

"That is bullshit. We're just glad you're alright. We need you. Erin needs you," Antonio remarked, moving to Halstead, offering a pat on the arm.

"He's right. You did everything you could. Those assholes blindsided you," Voight agreed, turning on his heels to continue his pacing, thoughts shifting to those assholes and what would be coming their way. Voight justice.

Kelly propped against a wall wanting a bottle of water, Gatorade, something, but too afraid to leave for even two minutes.

Long minutes turned into an hour before a doctor finally pushed into the waiting area, his smiling face telling the men they could breathe a sigh of relief.

"I'm Dr. Ries, the pulmonologist treating Detective Lindsay," he offered, extending a hand to Voight, sensing he was the man in charge. Hank quickly shook it, giving him a look that said introductions were not necessary. "Detective Lindsay is breathing on her own. She's responding well to the oxygen we're giving her, no intubation," he added.

The tension in the room lessened with the news. "We're going to keep her for at least 36 hours, risk of infection is a real possibility…" Ries continued.

"Infection?" Kelly broke in, "Is she hurt? I didn't see anything…"

"No, no trauma. There's always a risk of pulmonary infection with serious smoke inhalation cases. We also gave her an aggressive round of corticosteroids to suppress inflammation, reduce the edema…"

"In English, doc," Voight cut in. "Please," he added gruffly.

Dr. Ries smiled at the fatherly concern, "Steroids suppress inflammation but they also suppress the body's ability to fight infection, so we're keeping a close eye on the detective for the next day or two."

Another doctor came in with an equally positive report about Adam Ruzek. Kelly realized he hadn't even noticed another cop was pulled from the warehouse. Another officer brought to Chicago Med. No, all his thoughts were with the brunette detective and when he could see her for himself.

* * *

Erin sucked in a deep, long breath, holding it for a second before exhaling. She felt her breathing, relished in the pure oxygen before she even knew where she was or how she got there. The terrible weight in her chest had been lifted, that was her first thought as her heavy lids pulled apart.

Her second thought was 'what the hell?'

Four eyes were staring at her, one pair eyeing her suspiciously from one side of the bed, the other pair crinkled in the corners from a wide smile set upon the owner's mouth.

"Jay," she croaked out, voice raspier than either man had ever heard. The smiling eyes closed for a second as he took her hands to his mouth, kissing them softly.

"You okay Er?" he asked.

"You tell me," she half joked, small coughs ending her words.

Kelly's eyes grew narrower, taking a small step back, feeling like an intruder in the room, knowing when he wasn't welcome.

"Kelly," Erin said turning her head slightly in the direction of the fireman who was ready to back himself right out of the room.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, her foggy brain beginning to remember the warehouse, the fire, the locked door. He was asking himself that very question. Coming up empty for an answer.

"Uh, just checkin' to see, to make sure you're…" Kelly was fumbling around like a blind man dropped in unfamiliar territory. He was in a new land, one where he was the outsider, where his confidence was sucked out of him like the oxygen in the warehouse.

"Severide pulled you outta there, Erin. He saved your life," Jay explained, pulling a save of his own. Kelly looked at him appreciatively, knowing Halstead was feeling an appreciation of his own.

The fireman's chest puffed out a little, some of that Sev bravado returning. He stepped back to the bed, smiling now.

"I should have known," Erin rasped out. "You look like hell," she teased, another fit of coughs erupting.

Kelly figured that was his cue to leave. "I better head home," he said wanting a shower, a long, hot shower to wash away all the soot, the grime… all the those damn thoughts of some tearful reunion. Stupid ass, he thought backing away from the two cops. A couple of beers, or six, he'd be all good.

"Wait," Erin tried to call out. "Kelly."

There was that pull again, forcing his feet to head back to the detective. Cut and run, he thought. Those feet were not cooperating.

"Thanks for saving my ass," Erin said smiling. "Now get out of here." She reached for his hand, giving it a quick squeeze.

Kelly leaned down kissing Erin on the forehead, letting his lips linger a second too long. A second that said his mouth was heading to her lips. In that second of hot breath, so much revealed.

He didn't kiss her on the lips, instead turning quickly and rushing out the door.

"Damn, fool," he said aloud as he hurried down the hall. Kelly wasn't sure if he was a fool for kissing Erin in the first place or for not letting his lips touch hers. He'd be thinking about that one all night.

* * *

Erin was met by a sleepless tossing and turning, the sedatives wearing thin. Finally, around midnight she called the nurse for something.

"Are you in pain, hon?"

"Little bit," Erin replied, looking around her empty room, remembering that Jay had been exiled to his own room, kept overnight as a precaution. And Kelly…

She'd done the exiling herself on that one.

But her mind kept wandering back to the kiss. The kiss on the forehead that teased more. She had to admit she'd wanted more.

Erin shook her head, trying to shake those lips from her brain. She did _not_ want more, she told herself. She had more and it was done. Kelly had gone down a rabbit hole after Shay's death, not reaching out to her, not accepting her offer of friendship. He was in her past. Where he belonged.

Erin woke up the next morning, a new nurse poking and prodding her to consciousness.

"Looks like you've got a little fever," she said, taking her patient's temperature one more time. "You've also got a visitor," she informed, looking at the door, with a waiting Halstead hanging half in.

"Hey. How you feeling?" he asked, dressed and looking much better than the night before. Jay walked over to the brunette, kissing her on the forehead.

What the hell was the deal with these men and the forehead kisses, Erin thought smiling in spite of herself.

"Good. Better when I get out of here. Did you get sprung?" she asked.

"Yep. Double confirmation that my head's as hard as you always say it is," he laughed, pulling up a chair next to the bed.

"And you needed a doctor to tell you that?" Erin joked, her dimples proving irresistible to the detective.

"I thought we lost you," he said, touching her hand. "I lost you."

"Nah, you're stuck with me," she teased, grasping his hand with both of hers. A sound at the door distracted her just as Jay went in for another kiss, this one on the cheek.

Kelly Severide was in the frame, looking at Erin like she had three heads, the disdain in his face unmistakeable. He was berating himself mentally for taking one step into the hospital.

"Kelly. Get in here," she said, a much warmer welcome than the last time she saw him.

Jay got up from the chair. "Here, sit," he said moving to the door. "I've got a shit pile of paperwork to fill out. I'll be back before I leave, okay?"

"Sounds good," Erin answered.

Kelly sat down, watching Halstead leave, trying to read the look on Erin's face.

They stared at each other for a long minute, neither wanting to say something first.

"Kelly, what are you doing here?" Erin repeated her words from the night before, regretting them as they left her lips. "I mean… what do you want?" Her second question sounding as abrupt as the first.

Well, that was the million dollar question. What do I want?

Kelly always felt like he was _seen_ in Erin's eyes. Truly seen. There were two people in his life he could say that about… Shay and Erin. He wanted that back.

"I wanted us to, uh, to…" this stuttering Severide was new, unsure of himself last night, now today. "I want to be friends," he finally said thinking he sounded like a 16-year-old girl breaking up with a boyfriend and insisting they still "be friends." Why the hell did I come here, he asked himself again, wiping his forehead, a thin sheen of sweat beading.

"We _are_ friends," Erin answered, noticing the antsy man sitting before her.

"No, we haven't been friends in a long time," Kelly replied, shaking his head. "Erin, seeing you there. Lying there, I…"

"I'm fine. Promise. Also, we are friends. I promise," she said smiling, voice so soft and hoarse. "But Kelly, if you want something else, if you want to start _us_ again… I'm sorry, but I can't. I just can't."

"Coffee, maybe lunch, how about that?" The hope in his eyes was unmistakable. The hope Erin needed to dash.

"Kelly…" she sighed.

"Okay, no more talk today. Let's just get you outta here. I'll take you home. You can sleep on it."

On cue, the nurse came in to let them know the doctor wasn't letting her go until the beginnings of Erin's fever was stopped. She handed her patient two ibuprofens, smiling at the handsome man at her side.

"Husband?" she asked the detective. Erin's coughing fit answered for her.

"I'll leave you two to… whatever. Be back in 30 minutes to take that temp again sweetie. Maybe this one should leave. Might have better luck at getting it down," the nurse snorted as she walked out the door.

Erin offered a weak smile, closing her eyes, hoping Kelly would take the hint.

He didn't.

* * *

"You don't have to stay. I'm okay, Kel," Erin said, not bothering to kick off her shoes, just heading straight to her bedroom.

"Let me get you settled in then I'll get out of your hair," he answered, mistaking total exhaustion for a freeze out. He'd come back to Chicago Med again, against every brain cell urging him not to. He'd offered up a ride home and to his surprise, Erin agreed.

She plopped on top of her covers, throwing an arm over her face. "Mmmmm, this feels so good," she mumbled.

Kelly gently pulled off one Reebok, then the other. He yanked her covers from underneath her, wrestling with them until they reached her chin. She was asleep by the time he kissed her forehead.

He was tired. Exhausted. Another sleepless night. Not from the job. From so many things. From running. He was tired of running.

He opened Erin's fridge, smiling at the leftover Chinese takeout containers and the beer. Two bottles. They would do. He opened one of the boxes of Asian food, sniffing its contents and deciding it was worth the risk. He sucked down a beer while waiting for the microwave to ding, interrupting its cycle to wolf down the contents, now lukewarm.

Kelly plopped on the couch draining the other beer, flipping on the TV, volume so low he could barely hear it. He figured he'd rest his eyes for a few minutes, just catch a couple of winks.

* * *

Erin pushed at the man on her couch, eliciting a small groan. She pushed harder.

"What?" Kelly snapped, coming to from a deep sleep, rubbing the grit out of his eyes. "Erin? What're you doin' here?"

"That's my line," she said softly as he got himself up, realizing he was sitting on something that was not his couch.

"Sorry. Must've dozed off. Let me make you breakfast," he said springing up. "Or let me take you out."

"We talked about this last night…"

Kelly blew out a frustrated breath. "Damn you are so hard headed…" he muttered, wiping his hand across the dark shadow of a beard starting. "Let me wash up, I'll get outta here," he grumbled heading to her bathroom.

She watched him as he made himself right at home. She listened to the water from the sink, splashing around as it hit his face. She couldn't help but laugh when she heard him gargle, helping himself to her mouthwash. That look on his face. Dejected. Hurt. She hated that look. There'd been a time when she would do anything to get rid of that look. What could one breakfast hurt, the tempting thought skittering around the edges of her brain. Just one breakfast, would be good to catch up, to talk.

Her brain vetoed the idea… no damn way we are starting something. Been there, done that, now just done. Haven't talked to him in months, almost a year. Erin shook her head, shaking thoughts of those blue eyes away. But there they were. Staring at her, emerging from the bathroom, hurt look set in stone.

Erin inhaled sharply, holding it in for a moment before speaking. "Kelly. Thank you. God, you saved my life. You saved my life. I'll always owe you…"

"You don't owe me shit. This ain't about that. This is about me wantin' to see you. Erin, I know I screwed up," Kelly tried, anger bubbling up.

Damn you Severide, Erin thought a small smile sneaking from her lips at the little boy petulance written all over his face. Push him away, she reprimanded herself. I do not need this drama, her brain screamed. Push him and all that wanting right out the door. Things were complicated enough in her life.

"One breakfast. That's it. We reconnect as friends only. Take it or leave it," Erin demanded, Kelly realizing how much he'd missed her bossiness.

"Nope," he replied, taking a defiant stance, hands finding themselves deep in his pockets. He paused dramatically, giving Erin a taste of what she was giving. "You're stayin' in. I'm whipping something up. You need to rest." He made some egg scramble Mills used to cook up when they returned from a call past midnight. It was good, and most importantly, it was easy.

"Thanks for this," Kelly said when they finished eating.

"It was nice," Erin admitted, remembering other breakfasts, dinners, and desserts. Those desserts where no food was necessary.

When the fireman tried to extend his visit, he was shot down with excuses that said "tired" and "needing rest" but Kelly knew his little opening was slamming shut.

He rinsed off the dishes, depositing them in the dishwasher, wiping down the stove in silence. Kelly was on the other side of the counter, taking in the beautiful woman now getting up from the dining room table. She faced the fireman, more than a counter separating them, neither saying a word.

Her breath caught as he let out a long exhale, leaning across the counter and kissing her on the forehead. It had the feel of a goodbye peck. It had the feel of defeat.

"I had to try, Lindsay," he said with a grin that hid his wounded heart. He gave her another quick kiss before turning to leave.

As soon as Kelly closed the door, Erin headed to the bathroom, a shower just what she needed to protect herself, cleanse her body from the want she felt deep within. Wash away the craving for his body, his touch. The touch of a man she could never hold again. Love was all about timing. There's was off. It was done.

* * *

"Kelly?" Erin was towel drying her hair, going for a glass of water when she was startled by the fireman back on her couch.

"Sorry, couldn't go. Just hear me out," he was up, standing in front of her. "Life is short. Damn, we've both seen that in the past year. Too damn short to piss away a second chance. Yesterday was a second chance."

"Me trapped in a fire is a second chance?" interjected Erin, snorting with a rough laugh.

"Yeah, it was. What are the odds? It was some divine intervention, somethin', hell, maybe Shay, I don't know. I do know I'm not walkin' out of here till I have my say. Till you listen. Then you can tell me to get the hell out and never come back."

Erin took a step toward Kelly, the sincerity in his words too much to push away. She didn't want him to leave. He tried to continue, but Erin stuffed his words back down his throat with her tongue. She was kissing him, hands running along the back of his head, short hair poking between her fingers. Kelly picked her up, Erin's legs straddling him greedily, her thighs pushing into his waist. He carried her to the bed, throwing her on it, letting his actions do the talking. Relieved his thought-out speech would remain unspoken.

Kelly traced her lips with his tongue, her warm breath, tasting like sweetness, honey sweetness.

The light brushstrokes of his mouth on hers sent Erin's back arching upward, a low growl coming from deep within her throat. Kelly matched the sound with a moan louder and feral in nature. He was losing control, a bottomless hunger for this woman experienced every time he slammed into her. They pulled off clothes in a mad race to see who could finish first. Erin's throaty laugh ringing out in the small room.

Kelly's sweat laden skin felt like velvet beneath Erin's hand, the rough spots smoothed out with this layer of pure male desire. The beautiful woman missed that feel, the contrast that was Kelly Severide. She whimpered, starved for more, immediately cursing him through gritted teeth for making her whimper. Erin Lindsay didn't whimper but her traitorous body wasn't cooperating.

Kelly shushed her with kisses, so soft now, the rumble of his voice whispering, "Erin, Erin" as he picked up his rhythm again. He listened to the subtle turnings of her body, responding with the tenderness she was asking for. She would demand the beast later, he was sure of that.

Erin groaned, the huskiness in her voice making it harder to keep the beast down. Kelly gripped the sheet, moving his hands from her body in an effort to slow down. She groaned again and his hands moved back to her, buried deep in her hair, bringing her head closer, his tongue exploring her mouth, demanding and giving at the same time.

She held her breath, trembling with excitement, feeling more alive than she had in months. Kelly opened his eyes, watching her face, the concentration it held, the tension, then the release. The small trace of a smile forcing his eyes closed again as he let himself go. Let himself go completely, stripped of more than just clothing.

The peaceful feeling in Erin was rivaled only by the sense of calm deep within Kelly. Their heavy breathing breaking the stillness in the room. They both looked at each other at the same time, cracking up, their timing finally in sync.

"God, that was good," Erin laughed looking at Kelly looking at her.

"I missed it," Kelly panted out between clipped laughs.

"Missed _you_," Erin whispered, wondering if the smile would ever leave her face.

The sex was a bandage for the wound Shay and Nadia's deaths had sliced into their hearts. A bandage they would have to rip off, a little piece at a time. Kelly thought the healing underneath would cement their relationship, but only the weeks ahead would tell. He knew one thing for sure. He was done running.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! I can never REALLY hurt Erin, hope this one _satisfied_ anyways. Sorry for the long wait. Working on "All I Need Is" this week. RL probs are kicking my butt. Hope y'all are still out there.**


	8. One Night

**You know I love my Linseride, and here's a kind of crazy way they might be reunited. This one will be multi-chaptered. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Erin could see herself slipping.

Sliding into a dark abyss of nothingness. It was the only thing that comforted her. Nadia was dead. It was her fault. End of story. End of Nadia's story. As far as she was concerned, it was the end of her own story as well.

When she handed Voight her badge, Erin felt a little of that guilt leave. When she drank her mind into oblivion, she could feel that guilt push way back into the recesses of her brain. It was the only way she could face another day.

Bunny was there for her in a way she'd never been as a child. She listened, and more importantly, offered up whatever Erin needed. A night of drinking, a night of something stronger, harder, more mind numbing. Bunny would come through.

Hank had texted ten, twenty, a hundred times. He'd come by every day. That was the first few weeks. Now, two months in and he'd resigned himself to the role of a heartbroken man. It was a role he hated, despised, but like Erin, he couldn't put himself back together.

Jay had tried everything he could think of. He pried, prodded, poked around the corners of the new Erin's life, but nothing worked. That spark of a smile, that dimple, the flirtatious way the corners of her eyes tilted up with a smile … all of it gone.

"Erin," Halstead greeted, scanning the dump of a bar his former partner chose for the night.

"Whatcha doin' here, partner?" Erin slurred out, eyes glazed over, somehow proud of herself for recognizing Jay.

"Buyin' you a drink," he answered smiling, grabbing the stool next to the former detective. "Just in the neighborhood," he added.

"Sure you were," Erin said slapping his arm and signaling the bartender to bring two.

This night would be no different from the countless others where Halstead tried to get through to his lost friend, tried to remind Erin of something good, anything good.

He would be turned away after a drink or two, iced out with steely hazel eyes.

"You can't keep doing this," Jay would insist, forcing Erin to look at him.

"Save the lecture," Lindsay answered, completely shutting down. Why did he always have to go there? Why? "Can't we just have a drink, or two, or ten?" she pleaded, pulling at his jacket.

"I can't sit by and watch you do this. I can't."

"Then don't." Erin was done. And Jay would be shortly thereafter.

The detective would get in his car, vowing to come back, promising himself he wouldn't give up on her. The woman he knew was disappearing before his eyes, fading away like the whitewashed walls of the bars she was frequenting. He couldn't let that happen.

* * *

It wasn't business as usual at 51.

Severide had come under fire for his revolving door of squad guys who didn't measure up. The brass decided to have a come to Jesus with Boden, demanding he sacrifice his lieutenant as penance for the squad troubles. Reluctantly, chief agreed. Up to a point. He was certain the new captain in charge of squad would see Severide for the badass he was, and his lieutenant would be reinstated in a matter of weeks, a couple of months tops.

Kelly wasn't as compliant. The demotion was more than a slap in the face. If the lieutenant had one constant in his life, it was his job. He knew he was one of the best. He knew he that for all his failings, the job was not one of them. He was a firefighter to the core. And now that was being challenged.

"You've gotta be shittin' me!" he boomed in Boden's office, chief wearing a look of defeat. Kelly's eyes blazed as he watched Deputy Chief Riddle leave 51, his house, his domain.

"We have no choice!" Boden matched Severide's volume. "It's not just you," he added, feeling the heat and the threat that the deputy chief brought.

"Bullshit! You ain't being demoted!" Kelly had to get out of there. Now.

Blindsided again. A year ago, he was reeling from Shay's death. Right when he got back to being half his former self, Matt was taken by Jack Nesbitt. He had his best friend back, but he wasn't even close to being the Casey everyone knew and loved. Hell, he wouldn't even talk about what went down.

Damn cursed house, he thought, mumbling as much under his breath. He was almost out of 51, Boden on his heels.

Chief did not chase down anyone, especially not one of his men trained to follow his every command. This is different, he told himself. He saw that look on Kelly's face as he was steamrolled by Riddle's announcement.

"Effective immediately, Captain Dallas Patterson will be taking charge of squad, hopefully to get some stability in your unit. You're welcome to stay, but your lieutenant duties are …"

Severide couldn't see straight, literally blinded with rage. His heart was hammering in his chest with such force, he felt like his ribs were in a boxing match with his lungs.

"Kelly! Hold up!" Chief called from behind, not accustomed to having his orders rejected. Severide ignored the command, rushing past a silent common room. All the men watching in confusion.

"What the hell?" murmured Herrmann, getting up to follow. The rest of the men did the same. They watched as squad's lieutenant peeled out, Boden fuming that his calls fell on deaf ears.

"Show's over!" Boden turned toward his men who scattered like ants being stepped on, not one of them wanting to be the brunt of the anger spewing out of Chief, looking for a target.

Casey remained, holding both hands up, speechless. He finally repeated Herrmann's words, "What the hell?"

Chief shook his head, rubbing his jaw with his left hand. Matt stared wide eyed at Boden's right hand grasping something tight, not believing what it held. Kelly's badge.

* * *

Erin shoved another pair of jeans in her backpack, going back to her T-shirt drawer, not even looking at what she pulled out. She was in a daze, hungover again. How many days in a row? She couldn't say.

In and out. Make it quick, she told herself.

She hated these tiptoed re-entries into her former life.

The banging at her door stirred her mind from the memories it was conjuring up. She jumped at the first knock, hands trembling as she fumbled at the backpack zipper. Shit. Probably the landlord looking for a rent check.

Erin took a deep breath, ready to barrel past who or what was making all that racket.

She flung open the door, head down and ran into a brick wall.

A brick wall named Kelly Severide. The fireman had driven the streets of Chicago in a desperate attempt to escape. He somehow ended up at the brunette's doorstep.

"Erin," Kelly whispered, a look of hurt spreading across his face like a rush of fever. "I'm so sorry about Nadi…"

He was cut off by the former detective launching herself at him. She jumped up, wrapping her arms around his neck, burying her head into his shoulder.

He caught her easily, holding up her legs as he pushed his way into her apartment, slamming the door with a foot. Kelly rested his face into her hair that hadn't seen a shower in three days. All he noticed was her smell, that familiar scent he hadn't inhaled in over a year.

Erin lifted her face up, meeting his blue eyes, seeing her own in them. Seeing pain. For being a badass fireman, he wore his emotions in those eyes. She smiled remembering the first time he showed up at her place, distraught over a missing Katie. Those eyes. Now, she was staring into them.

"Bedroom," she rasped out, holding his face in her hands.

"You sure?" his voice was barely audible.

Erin grabbed his face tighter, pressing her lips on his, almost to the point of pain. She ran a hand down the stubble of a cheek, pushing her tongue into his mouth. No talk. No words. She wanted this. Nothing else. Just the feel of his body pressing against hers.

Kelly's hands tightened on Erin's ass, squeezing harder as her tongue ran across his ear. He wasn't thinking about what this meant, what this would do or wouldn't do. No thoughts of chief and demotions.

He looked into those hazel eyes and wanted to get lost in them.

"Stay the night," Erin pleaded.

"I'm not goin' anywhere," he answered, the ghost of those words bouncing off the walls. Those would be the only words they spoke that night. The only words they needed to say.

* * *

Severide reached a hand across the bed, moaning at the memory of last night. His hand feeling emptiness, a pillow and cold sheet meeting his touch.

Gone. She was gone.

He groaned now, looking at his phone. 8:30 a.m. He'd been MIA from shift for how many hours? Did it even matter? He shook his head remembering the yelling, the feeling of betrayal, his badge slipping from his grip as he forced it into chief's hand.

Shit. He quit.

And Erin was gone.

And he felt like he had nothing at all.

* * *

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Erin ran her hand through her hair wondering if maybe she'd dreamt the whole thing.

Nope. It was real. Kelly was real. They'd had one glorious night to add to the string of glorious nights that happened over a year ago. What the hell was I thinking?

She remembered that comfort she felt in his arms after the bombing. A lifetime ago. But last night. It felt so familiar, so good. Falling asleep in those arms.

Erin shook her head. She didn't need any complications. She sure as hell didn't need a man. She didn't need a damn thing.

As she screeched to a stop in front of Bunny's place, her eyes stopped on a group of men out front. These men that she once had in fact needed. Voight, Halstead, Ruzek, Olinsky, Dawson, and Atwater were standing as if on guard, arms folded, all looking straight at her. She thought about taking off, but knew they would keep coming at her.

Erin slammed her door shut, trying to muster up a smile, a bit of her former self. She brushed back her hair knowing she had to look like holy hell.

"Hey guys. What brings you to my neck of the woods?" Erin said, a little too loudly, a little too exuberantly.

They'd been through this before. One intervention after another. None had done a bit of good. Erin ended up leaving more determined to push them all away, to convince herself that she didn't need any of them.

This time was different. She saw Hank's lined face and almost broke the second his eyes met hers. Jay's nervous clenching of his fists, his wan smile saying more than any words could at the moment.

Erin was in Voight's arms crying wondering what had happened. Was it because she'd opened herself up to someone last night? She let her old vulnerability out and it felt like home. She needed all these men in her life. Her family. She wanted them back.

* * *

Weeks sped into the past, with Erin returning to a version of her former self. She would never be that same old Erin, daughter to Hank, girlfriend to Jay, sister to the rest. No, that woman died the day that Nadia died. But a new Erin was back, and it felt right.

Kelly was also back, doing his time at 51, deciding to suck it up, swallow his pride and hurt, and jump through the deputy chief's hoops to get his position back. Boden had tried to talk to him, but Severide brushed him off like a gnat teasing his ear. He never disobeyed an order, always answered with a "Yes, chief" but things had gotten 50 degrees cooler in the house.

"Kelly, you gotta minute?" Chief asked, expecting the same old response.

Severide nodded his head, following Boden to the back.

Kelly bit his lip, saying as little as possible. Bide your time, he told himself. Then he'd go to another house, one that wouldn't throw him to the wolves.

"I know this hasn't been easy on you," Chief began. "But you've done everything Captain Patterson has asked. More than he's asked." Boden waited for Kelly to respond.

Severide just nodded his head.

"I'm proud of you Kelly," Chief said, hoping to break that hard exterior that his man had put on.

"Just doin' what the department wants," the fireman responded coldly.

Boden sighed heavily, searching for some new words, the right words.

A knock at the door broke the awkward silence.

Herrmann's head popped in. "Sorry, Chief. Kelly, you got a visitor."

"We're busy!" Boden barked, eyes warning his man to get out.

"It's Detective Lindsay. Says she needs to see Kelly," Herrmann explained.

"Go!" Boden relented, exasperated with the situation, with his fireman, with it all.

Kelly exhaled, releasing the pent up anger he was becoming an expert at hiding.

"Hey, stranger," he said, smiling at the detective, at the old Erin he was looking at. He grabbed her in a warm hug, letting his nose brush slightly against her hair, taking in the scent.

He'd tried to call and call and call. She never answered, never texted one word. Gabby kept him up to date with her recovery, needling the Lindsay intel out of Antonio.

Any thought of being mad disappeared the second those dimples came out. Her hazel eyes bright, a tinge of sadness lingering. He figured that would never leave.

"Kelly, sorry I didn't call… I needed some space, to get my crap together," Erin said, nervously brushing a wisp of hair from her face. "Hey, can we talk? Somewhere more private?"

"Yeah, sure." Kelly grabbed the brunette's hand leading her to his office, the one he now shared with the captain. He glanced inside, glad it was empty.

The fireman shut the door behind them and motioned for Erin to sit in his chair. She was wringing her hands together nervously,

"Hey," he said softly touching her hands, bringing them into the cocoon of his. "What's wrong? Talk to me."

"Kelly, I'm just going to say it," Erin whispered, avoiding his eyes.

"I wish you would," Severide laughed nervously.

"God. I know you don't need this right now. I don't need this right now."

"Jesus, Erin. What?"

Erin took in a deep breath, the room closing in on her. "Kelly. I'm pregnant."

She looked up finally, meeting those piercing blue eyes.

* * *

**Well, drama ahead. Hope you enjoy!**


	9. One Night II

**Thank you for the kind words in your reviews! I'm posting a little update tonight. Another update tomorrow before work. It was just too huge to put it all out there. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"I don't need a damn test, Erin," Kelly protested, both sitting in her living room, pressed up next to each other on the couch. "If you're sure, that's good enough for me."

After the initial shock, Kelly reacted better than Erin could've imagined, saying they needed to talk after shift. So there they were, sitting on the small couch not knowing what to say, each vulnerable, each mending, running from demons big enough to swallow them whole.

Erin smiled shaking her head. She insisted on a paternity test even though she felt certain it was the fireman's. She _thought_ she felt certain, telling herself the timing was spot on. Well, unless in one of her less coherent moments, she had a rendezvous she couldn't even remember.

She shook her head again, smile fading … disgusted with how far down the rabbit hole she'd burrowed. Disappointed. saddened, but mostly afraid of where she'd journeyed to. The list to beat herself up was long, but she was healing, getting truly healthy. Not as much for herself but for the tiny human growing inside her.

"Kelly, you need to see the results. It's the right thing, the first step," Erin didn't mention the name Renee Royce, but it was as if the woman was in the room at that moment. All those memories flooding back to the fireman, and it wasn't lost on the detective. The happiness, the hope… all the baby dreams dashed with a paternity test that read one night stand not Severide.

When her test results came back, Erin was relieved. Kelly would be a fine dad. No, this wasn't the way she'd imagined becoming a mother, the way she envisioned raising a child, but it would do. They were two grown people with a past, but they would get past that past to partner up for the good of the baby. Their baby. Platonic but friendly.

That was the plan. Simple enough.

* * *

Kelly's hurt didn't hurt quite as much. His heart didn't ache for his old job every second of every day.

When Herrmann passed out cigars for both of 51's _lieutenants_, Severide didn't correct him, reminding everyone he'd been demoted. He smiled and played nice.

Some days he couldn't believe he was going to be a dad. Other days he felt like he was built for the role. The night with Erin had been just what they both needed. He was frustrated as hell when she wouldn't talk to him after, wouldn't pick up the phone. But a part of him also got it. He knew he was the made from the same mold.

The pain of losing Shay, his Shay, was something he would never get over. Get through it? Maybe. But fully recover. Never.

Erin was hurting, healing on her own, by her rules, denying she needed anyone. Severide had felt the raw pain she was going through … her cocooning herself in sounded just like someone else he knew. He only hoped she would eventually emerge.

XXXX

Can you come over? Need to talk baby stuff.

Kelly was on the way to a call, catching a quick peek at his phone.

yep at a call. off tomorrow give me a time

He threw his phone on the dash and was off. The scene was chaos, a motel fire jumping from one unit to the next like kids playing hopscotch, the flames skipping a room here and there to stay ahead of the men.

They finally got the blaze under control but not before another unit was called in and many hours were spent. The search for hotspots, making sure there weren't any victims was equally exhausting. Every suspicious, smoking wall was torn into, quelling any remaining flames … it was a search and destroy mission to put the final stake into the beast's heart.

As they drove from the scene back to 51, most of the men were shaking from exhaustion and dehydration. It had been one hell of a night, not a none of them with anything left in the tank.

Kelly arrived at Erin's place, a pair of baby socks and a couple of bibs in his hand. He'd wanted to roll in a crib, but Matt suggested that might be a bit too much, too soon.

"Hey," Erin said opening her door, leaning against the edge of it, smiling.

"Hey," Kelly replied, his hand behind his back, his face lighting up at the sight of those dimples, those hazel eyes. "I got a couple of things. Hope you don't mind." He handed her the baby items, holding his breath.

Her husky laugh said he'd done good. "Really?" she asked holding up a bib that read "Just Hose Me Off When I'm Done" and featured a fireman's hose snaking through the wording.

Kelly laughed, raising his hands defensively.

"Come in," Erin said, her husky voice always pulling the same reaction from Kelly. Sexy as hell, he thought as he sheepishly walked in.

She wanted to talk appointments, doctors, the birth itself, and the dividing up of purchasing all the baby goods. She cut the list short, noticing the slumping fireman sinking deeper into her couch.

"Rough shift?" she asked lightly, getting up for another beer.

"You could say that," Kelly laughed brushing it off. "But I want this. Let's hash it all out," he continued, sitting up straighter. "You ain't got a Red Bull in there, would you?" he asked half joking.

"I've hit you with enough," Erin replied, coming back to the couch, a Pepsi in hand for the fireman. "How about we order some dinner? We'll save the rest for another night."

The thought of another night, many nights sent a warmth through Severide that settled him from the inside out. It was a contentment that put to rest some of those demons. It all felt right. Perfect. It felt like the beginnings of a family.

* * *

The next morning Kelly awoke first, confused, still tired-drunk from his shift. He was leaning over on something or someone on an unfamiliar couch. Trying to push himself up his hand landed on Erin's left breast, causing a grunt to sputter out of the detective.

She elbowed him in the groin as she groggily righted herself from where she'd slept all night, under a fireman.

"Uhhh," he groaned doubling over protectively.

"Jesus, sorry," Erin said, her voice doubly hoarse, her hands now smoothing down her hair.

Shit. Jay.

"I was supposed to meet Jay half an hour ago." Erin was fumbling at her phone, fully awake now. Text messages. Missed calls. Shit. This was the panic set in motion when someone on the edge goes dark. Jay had been walking on eggshells around her. They all were, waiting for some sign that she was slipping again. And Erin hated it.

"Jay. Yes, I'm fine. Really, I'm fine." She paused listening for a few seconds, relieved he wasn't walking up her steps.

Kelly figured Halstead was telling her how worried he was.

"No! Don't come over here. I'm out the door right now. Be there in ten," Erin ran to her bedroom lifting off her T-shirt that held a big Kelly drool spot. In her closet she wriggled out of her jeans, grabbing a fresh pair off the stack on a shelf. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, running a hand through her hair. It would have to do.

"Kelly. Sorry," she said breathlessly, slipping her boots on, not bothering to lace them up. "Gotta run." She rubbed a hand over his arm as she hurried out the door.

"Oh, and eat something. Stay as long as you want, just…" she wrestled her key off her ring, "leave this under the mat." Erin dropped it on the counter.

"Wait. Hold up," Kelly reached for her hand. "Last night. It was nice. I could get used to that," he smiled at her, swinging her hand in his back and forth.

"What?" Erin asked, needing to get out of there. "Oh, no, Kelly." The detective pulled her hand out of his. "Yes, it was nice. But, Kel, we only had last night because of the baby."

She didn't want to continue, but the look in the fireman's eyes needed to be extinguished.

"Kelly … Jay and I, we're together."

* * *

"So Severide spent the night?" It was the third time Jay had asked the question, hoping to get a different response this time around.

"Yes, but it's not like that. We were getting all the baby stuff settled. Then we ordered dinner…" Erin was on her heels, every word sounding worse than the last.

"Hold up. He stayed for dinner?" Halstead was trying to comprehend what went down, what was going on.

"He was so tired, Jay. He'd had a shift from hell," the concern in Erin's voice tinged every word.

"I don't give a damn about his shift," the detective said, his voice raising. They were just beginning again and now this. All of it. He couldn't help but feel like forces were working against them.

"If this is all too much for you, I get it. You can walk away. No harm, no foul. The baby, it's a lot to take in," Erin said softly.

"No, I don't want that," Jay admitted, taking a gentler tone. "I need you to work with me on this. If we're in it, we're in it. There can't be another guy in our relationship, in OUR relationship."

Erin got it. The night with Kelly was as much about wanting to spend time with him as it was baby talk. She could have shuffled him off at any point. She didn't. Jay was right. She did need to meet him halfway. Severide was in when the baby was the issue but he had to be pushed out with everything else.

Kelly threw his phone across squad's table, watching as it broke in two, hitting the floor. The text from Erin came through loud and clear. He was the father of her child. Nothing more. And it hurt like hell.

He grabbed his bag and headed out … off to some bullshit management class Boden signed him up for. The day could not get any worse.

* * *

**More to post in the a.m. and you know that good things come to those who wait. Haha! The road to Linseride is bumpy for sure.**


	10. One Night III

**As promised, another little update. Happy Friday!**

* * *

Kelly walked into the management class, immediately feeling like he didn't belong there. The rows of suits signing in, looked like an asshole convention. He turned to leave almost steamrolling over the woman behind him.

"Sorry," he said moving around the blonde, her face beautiful but wearing a scowl that must've rivaled his.

"Where do you think you're going?" she asked, hand resting on her hip. "If I have to sit through this shit, so do you."

The sass in her voice, that bossy attitude … yes, Kelly was stopped from his escape. He smiled and relented as she turned him around to get back in line. He turned back around, "I'm Kelly," he said extending a hand.

"Nice to meet you Fireman Kelly. I'm Nicole," she purred, taking his hand in a firm shake.

They took seats next to each other in the very back row.

"Gotta say, didn't think I'd be spendin' this class with someone in a pencil skirt," Severide whispered while the presenter blabbed on about different management styles.

"Pencil skirt, huh? Kind of impressed you even know what one is," Nicole giggled, her hand brushing his arm.

"Hey, I've been out of my cave for a while now," Kelly replied, drawing a warning look from the man in front.

"So fireman," Nicole purred, "you gonna rescue me from this hell?" She eyeballed his squad shirt, liking the way he filled it out.

Erin's text played through Kelly's mind as he pondered the invitation of the hot blonde sitting so close, touching him at every opportunity.

_We need to keep our relationship about the baby._

She added words like _friend_ and _great dad_ to soften the blow. But that ending, that ending was what launched Kelly's phone to the ground.

_Jay and I have a chance at something real._

So many responses rang through his brain … _we've got a real shot … let's make us a real family_. The little picture of picket fences and happily ever afters was dashed with that text.

She's probably with him right now, Kelly thought, a sick feeling developing in his stomach.

He grabbed Nicole's hand, leading her out the door, the nearest bar their destination. He was making his own reality. Right now.

* * *

"So what's your story? What'd you do to get yourself in there?" Kelly asked, ordering the pair another round.

"I like to think that what I call perfectionism, my firm calls difficult," Nicole complained. "Being a lawyer isn't all it's cracked up to be," she laughed.

"So you went to the class, or part of it. You paid your penance."

"If only it were that simple. I'm sure they're taking bets right now on when I'll get fired. My time's running out unless I land a big client," she sighed, gulping down another sip of the amber liquid, her throat burning.

"But," she said smiling, "we aren't going to talk about that right now. We're going to drink. Then drink some more. Then you're taking me to your place."

That's just what Kelly did.

* * *

The morning sun flooded into Severide's place with a brightness that anyone with a hangover considered hell.

Nicole rolled over in the strange bed, her hands immediately going to her head. She spied the empty space next to her, as if it were a puzzle piece she needed to complete a picture.

What did I get myself into, she thought, vaguely remembering drink after drink.

She got up, heading in the direction of what she thought would be the bathroom. There was a knock at the door. Kelly on the other side, wearing only a pair of boxers and a smile.

"You feel as shitty as me?" he asked, holding out a glass of water and two little white pills.

"Shittier," she answered, taking the offering. "Thanks for last night, fireman," she added. "You really saved me."

"Yeah, I get that a lot."

She laughed, taking in those blue eyes, a want coming through hers.

The curve of her neck caught Kelly's eye and for a second he wished he hadn't been such a gentleman last night, sleeping on the couch. Erin was with Jay, and he was living like a damn monk. He could hear Shay's laughter, could hear her voice saying something about karma being a bitch. God, he wanted her there right now. Needed her more than ever.

Nicole took Kelly's face in her hands, giving him the kiss she wanted to plant on him at the bar. The kiss that filled her dreams in his bed that night.

She gave him one more long look and was gone.

* * *

Erin's knuckles rapped on the heavy wooden door, again and again.

He was ignoring her. She imagined the hurt of her text was sending him into hiding … their most comfortable place. Her words had been impulsive, spur of the moment, fanned by a need to not lose another person - Jay.

Kelly opened his door, surprised at the woman behind it.

"You don't answer your phone now?" Erin demanded. "If something happens, I need to know that you'll be there, Kel."

"Phone died. Gettin' a new one today," he motioned her inside, doing everything in his power to keep a poker face.

"I was worried," Erin revealed, calming herself, deciding from his look that good cop was what he needed, so bad cop was put away.

"Sorry about that," Kelly said, softening also. "Had to go to some BS class, another hoop I gotta jump through."

Erin listened, laughing at Severide's description of the sea of suits and himself, sticking out like a beached whale.

She couldn't help but smile as he described the speaker as an unappealing combination of Mouch and Donald Trump.

She couldn't help that her hand touched his arm when he said he thought he might be getting his lieutenant rank back. The look of hope in his eyes.

She couldn't help enjoying herself in his company, laughing one minute at his silly jokes, serious the next as the room filled with his earnest desire to get his old job back. And not one word of it baby talk.

* * *

Erin was saying goodbye to the fireman outside of his place when a Mercedes with almost black windows pulled up, screeching to a halt right next to the pair.

Kelly insisted on walking the detective out, thinking about what to say, to confess, to maybe try to talk some sense into her when he saw Nicole saunter out of the expensive car, still in the same clothes from last night.

"Hey, fireman. Hi fireman's friend," the blonde giggled walking toward Erin and Kelly. "Forgot my belt. It's Saint Laurent and expensive as hell. You probably already know that Mr. Pencil Skirt." She let out another breathy laugh waiting for Severide to react.

"Uh, yeah, just go on up. It's unlocked," Kelly said studying Erin's face. It didn't take a PhD to figure out what she was thinking.

"Well, you sure don't waste any time," Erin uttered, turning toward her car.

"It's not what you think," Kelly said, matching her stride for stride.

"It doesn't matter what I think. It's your life. As long as your activities don't get in the way of being there for my baby, do what you want," Erin spat out, not bothering to turn around.

"I don't have any activities! And wait! Let me get this straight. You're pissed? You dump me in a text and now you're pissed?" Kelly was yelling now, wishing she would just stop and face him.

"You gotta be dating first to get dumped," Erin countered. "Gotta go. Jay's got lunch waiting for me." She knew it was a low blow, but oh, how it felt so good.

"Does he clean the house for you too? Maybe he's working on your ironing right now," Kelly was seething with fury, his words driven by a loathing for the man who currently held Erin's heart.

"He probably is! Ironing all my skirts! My pencil skirts!" With that Erin got in her car, slammed the door, and left.

* * *

Erin was getting back her detective sensibilities, not second guessing herself on every case, falling into an easy groove at work. IU ran like a well-oiled machine that needed each of its parts. She was one of the most integral parts.

Her life with Jay was comfortable and solid. She was safe with her partner at work and at home. Halstead was feeling good about the Kelly-less state their lives were in. He didn't know what had happened, but he was glad it had. The fireman was at all of Erin's appointments, or so he heard, but that was about it.

Avoiding Kelly. Piece of cake, Erin told herself. Easy as pie, she said. Pencil skirt, she reminded herself in times of weakness.

"Unit requested … Randolph and Morgan. Apartment fire. FD needs assistance."

Erin responded before Jay could argue that a patrol would catch the call.

The building looked more blaze than concrete and brick, a fire-breathing dragon attacking a group of knights. All knights from 51. Most of truck was rushing this way and that on the ground trying to get the thing to back down.

Erin let Halstead handle crowd control while she rushed to the man in charge - Chief Boden.

"Chief, what can we do?" Erin asked, scanning the scene for a sign of Severide.

"Keep the crowd back, out of our way," he barked, also looking for Kelly.

They both spotted him as he hopped on a ladder, Cruz right behind. Mouch was at the controls, raising the thing straight into the mouth of the beast, the second floor.

"Severide, where the hell are you going?" Boden radioed, furiously moving in the direction of the ladder.

"Capp and Tony didn't come out, Chief. The stairs were out. They gotta be trapped on two," Kelly was inches from an open window, shooting a line of fire at his mask-covered face.

"Hold up. Do not enter!" Boden barked, the new Captain by his side.

"It's suicide, Chief. You'll have four dead," Dallas said, his cool demeanor beginning to crack.

Boden ran his hand across his mouth, needing a few seconds of quiet.

"Get in, get out! Do it!" he yelled.

The captain hung his head, shaking it side to side. "You are making a huge mistake."

* * *

Getting through that wall of fire was nearly impossible, Kelly deciding to launch himself through, hoping the flames stopped at some point on the other side. It did.

He knew that if Tony and Capp weren't hanging out of a window, they had to be down. He crouched low, listening for the high pitched sound every firefighter dreaded.

Erin didn't help with the crowd, instead waiting by Boden, her eyes transfixed on the window her baby's father plowed through. She hadn't seen him in a week, keeping to Jay's wishes and her own anger. Now the pettiness of it all hit her like the smoke and heat hitting Severide on the second floor.

Erin couldn't breathe, didn't want to breathe until she saw Kelly.

"Severide, what do you see?" Chief asked. "Report! Report! Severide!"

Nothing.

The minutes ticked by so slowly, each one adding another weight on Erin's heart… a heart having a hard time healing. The pain of losing Nadia never completely gone. She could not lose anyone else.

"Can't you send someone in?" Erin blurted out at Chief. "Cruz!" She was yelling now, her hands shaking. Joe remained on the ladder, the words of Kelly echoing in his brain.

No. It couldn't end like this. Severide couldn't end like this, she thought.

Tony was suddenly propelled out of the window into Cruz almost knocking both of them off the ladder. Joe got his bearings, grabbing onto his fellow squad member's jacket and not letting go. Casey was up on the ladder now, helping to ease Tony down. Herrmann was next in line, taking the fireman the rest of the way.

Kelly! C'mon, Kelly! Erin was screaming his name in her head, hysterical, desperate. But to everyone around her, she was silent. All that noise reverberating in her skull, about to come out through her mouth.

Capp came crawling out a full five minutes after Tony. Five minutes of anguish for the detective. Thoughts of a baby who would never know daddy racing through her mind.

A pair of hands were pushing Capp through the thick billows of smoke and flame.

Erin let out a gasp, the sound so full of relief, nothing else could be heard or felt. Those fireman hands would hold their baby.

Kelly slowly came down the ladder, Cruz steadying his lieutenant.

Erin ran to the truck waiting for Severide to get his bearings, to finally place his feet on the ground.

"Jesus, Kelly," she whispered as he came to her, white teeth standing out against his black face.

He saw nothing but the woman standing in front of him. The world fell away as his smile grew wider. Someone offered him a water, some oxygen. Chili? Brett? He didn't know and didn't care.

"You weren't worried, Lindsay? Were you?" Kelly asked, his voice raspier than hers.

"Nah. You wouldn't leave without meeting this one," Erin answered, giving her stomach a quick pat.

"You got that right." Kelly gave the brunette a peck on the cheek and a wink, turning to grab that bottle of water. Brett pulled him by the arm, leading him to the ambo. Captain was yelling something in his face.

But the fireman could see one thing only … the beautiful woman watching him. He hopped up on the back of the ambulance, plopping next to Capp who was sucking in some oxygen greedily. Tony was doing the same.

Kelly took the mask that Capp offered, his eyes still locked on the detective.

Always locked on Erin.

On the mother of his child.

On his ex.

On the woman he loved.

* * *

**A little hope? Yesss! Two more chapters in this one. What do you think?**


	11. One Night IV

One more update until the payoff. Enjoy!

xxxx

Erin checked on the pan in the oven again, ignoring Kim's instructions to just let it bake. Burgess had dropped off the King Ranch Chicken figuring it was for her friend and Jay. When Halstead rolled into 21, she gave him a confused look that he met with a "what's up?" expression.

"Uh, hey Halstead," she mumbled, scooting off to find Roman. Best to keep my mouth shut, the officer thought.

Erin had an early morning appointment, no sonogram, nothing special, but Kelly showed up as he always did. Her invitation to come over for lunch after almost knocked the fireman over. Things had warmed considerably since the apartment fire, but it was like a ban had been lifted, not the reunion Kelly hoped for. He would take what he could get.

"Lunch sounds good, but I gotta stop by 51, probably kiss some ass. 12:30 too late?" Severide didn't want to miss this chance to spend time with the gorgeous brunette, but he'd been summoned by Boden.

"That's perfect. It'll give me time to throw something together," Erin replied, thankful Kim had done the actual throwing.

"Hold up, Lindsay. You ain't cookin' are you? I wanna see another shift, and I've tasted your…" Kelly laughed, crossing his arms, a devilish grin spreading across his face.

"That is not fair," Erin protested, crossing her arms. "It's been a while. I've improved." 

"You got one thing right. It has been a while," Kelly agreed. He stepped forward a little, brushing the side of her cheek, his fingers lingering over a dimple. "I'll be back."

"You better," she replied softly.

XXXX

Chief was in his office staring at paperwork, his brain not reading a word. All his thoughts were on the meeting he had with Severide.

He knew Kelly was being courted by at least two houses, both wanting to add him as a squad lieutenant. This was Boden's last ditch effort to keep his man where he belonged.

Herrmann popped his head in not bothering to knock.

"I heard from a buddy at 27 that they're makin' a play for Severide. It's a good house, good guys. And they're busy as hell. What are we gonna do?" Christopher asked.

"I don't know what I can do. If Kelly's leaving, he's leaving," Chief answered, getting up to pour two glasses from his not so secret stash. "He's got it in his mind that I didn't fight hard enough for him."

Boden waited for Herrmann to say something, call the accusation bullshit, but he received a heavy silence instead.

"You want to weigh in on this?" Chief asked.

"Nah. I know you did all you could."

Boden could hear Kelly's words, remembering each and every one during their last blow out. The pointed, round about way the fireman brought up Casey. Casey's head injury,

"You didn't know I was fillin' out his reports?!" Kelly fumed. "I ain't buyin' that for a minute."

"You should have come to me if you had concerns about Matt," Boden stuck to his principles, those principles that Severide was saying twisted and bent as chief saw fit.

"You wanna stick your head in the sand? That's fine. I just ain't watchin' it anymore!" he slammed the door on his way out, more determined than ever to leave this house, to find a new home. A place where his talents would be appreciated.

Boden didn't get to bring up overlooking an addiction, a missing painkiller, mysteriously gone from Shay's ambo.

"Say it," Chief boomed now to his oldest friend in the house, pushing thoughts of Kelly's words away with another gulp of amber liquid.

Herrmann shrugged, offering, "You support all the guys, Chief." He sighed, adding, "Maybe some more than others."

Before Boden could respond the topic of all this talk showed up. Kelly knocked at the door, hearing a loud, "Come in."

"Severide," Christopher acknowledged, fake punching the younger man in the gut.

"Ahh," Kelly joked. "Hey, give Kenny a kiss for me. While you're at it, give one to your wife too."

"Watch it now!" Hermann answered, laughing as he headed back to the common room.

"Chief," Kelly said waiting for Boden to tell him to take a seat.

Chief poured a glass for his lieutenant, motioning for Severide to make himself comfortable.

"No thanks," Kelly said, pushing the glass away. "Got an appointment after this, don't wanna show up lit."

"Wouldn't be with 27, would it?" Chief asked, eyes narrowing. "Heard they're after your ass."

"No, somethin' more, uh, personal. Not business," Kelly said honestly, wondering who the gossip mongers were.

"Kelly," Chief let out a sigh. Isn't that how I've started every damn time, Boden thought. Time to change it up. Time for some honesty. Time for some soul searching.

"I asked you to come here today to convince you to stay. To tell you we need you. To tell you we're family. But if you got one foot outta this house already, there isn't a damn thing I can do to make you stay." Chief began, garnering raised eyebrows from the fireman sitting before him.

"Let's toast your years of serving this house, giving everything you've got to this house." Boden pushed the glass back in front of Kelly who took a small sip.

"I think we are so much alike, sometimes I forget you're you and I think I'm lookin' at myself 20 some odd years ago," Chief continued slowly. "Sometimes we treat the people we care about most… the worst."

"Chief, it's okay," Kelly said, uncomfortable with this kinder, gentler Boden.

"No. No it's not okay," he said taking another large gulp before filling his glass again. "I'm tough on you because you can take it. Because I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did. Kelly, I think of you like a …"

"Chief, I ain't goin' anywhere," Kelly interrupted. "You know Erin's pregnant. I don't need any other changes in my life."

Boden choked on his last sip, coughing roughly at the good news. "Well, this calls for something more than this," he said lifting up his glass. Chief opened his bottom drawer pulling out a couple of Cubans. "They legal," he noted with a conspiratorial look, words becoming more slurred.

He led the squad guy out through the back, cutting off the tip of his stogie, lighting it up and watching as his man did the same. Kelly wondered how chief could hear the rumblings of a couple of houses but miss his news. He was trying to keep Erin's pregnancy to himself, maybe everyone was doing the same. But even Mouch?

"So, we good Kelly?" Boden asked, white teeth spreading in a grin.

"Yeah, we're good Chief," Severide answered.

"Good man," Boden added patting him on the back. "You're gonna be a dad?" he questioned, his smile growing wider.

XXXX

"You cooked this?" Kelly asked incredulously, going in for seconds.

"You saw it come out of my oven, didn't you?" Erin answered, acting insulted over the correct accusation that she had no part in making the dish.

"Yeah, I saw it in your oven, but I'm thinkin' Gabby has her hand in this," Kelly searched.

"Gabby did not have her hand in this. Do you think it's possible for an old girl to learn new tricks?" Erin asked coyly, her dimples and eyes showing a joy they hadn't seen in some time.

"Hmmm, maybe Burgess," Kelly was still fishing. "And the only old thing in this house is me," he joked.

"You got me," she finally admitted, "Kim whipped this up for me, for us."

The pair talked about the baby, hopes for their unborn child … the conversation never skipping a beat. It was as if they'd never been apart. It was as if they each hadn't suffered the most heart- ripping loss of their lives. The lightness in Erin's laugh filled all the empty spaces in Kelly's heart. He felt whole for the first time in a long time and the detective was getting there.

He wasn't thinking when he kissed her.

They were doing the dishes when Erin "accidentally" sprayed Kelly with water, setting off a water fight that ended with both being soaked. She dropped to the floor, laughing at the sorry state of her T-shirt, her hair.

Kelly dropped down next to her. "I needed this," she said through laughs.

He took her dripping face in his hands and brushed his lips against hers, softly, the touch sparking her senses alive. She felt a warmth rise up from deep within as she pressed her lips in harder. Kelly's tongue tickled the roof of her mouth, their faces pushing in. The fireman's hands yanked off his wet shirt, helping with hers.

Erin pulled back suddenly, grabbing at her sopping shirt to hold it up in front of her bra like a shield. "Not like this," she whispered wanting nothing more than to let Kelly pick her up and lead her to her bed.

Severide looked like he'd been kicked in the teeth, his mouth slightly open, his brows raised in confusion.

Erin brushed the back of her hand across his stubbled cheek, wiping away the sad look instantly. "I want this," she said, smiling. "But not yet."

She thought of Jay's toothbrush positioned next to hers in her bathroom. Not yet, she thought, a knot arising in her gut, one that said everything just got a whole lot more complicated.

XXXX

Hormonal. I've gotta be hormonal.

Or just crazy. Erin settled on crazy.

The talk with Jay began with the detective not knowing what to say, how to say that she wasn't sure what she wanted. It ended with Halstead saying he loved her, wanted to grow old with her, and couldn't imagine his life without her.

She found herself in his arms, wrapped in a strong warmth that she couldn't let go of. It was a security blanket she wouldn't let go of. She didn't confess anything about Kelly The words she thought she was going to say never materialized.

That toothbrush remained.

XXXX

"I ain't beggin' Erin. I won't," Kelly said trying to keep his tone even, calm. He could hear Shay's voice coaching him.

"I would never want that, Kelly," Erin replied, so unsure of what she was going to say next. How could she do this to him?

"Are you sure this is what you want? He's who you want?" he asked, forcing her to say the words. If she was going to pick Jay, then she sure as hell would have to tell him straight out. He was going to make damn sure of that.

"No," she said, her voice a shadow.

"Then what are we talkin' about here? First, you say you and Halstead have something real. We have something real, Erin. We shared something real. Now you're tellin me we don't?"

"I'm not saying that. I think I'm hormonal. I know I'm confused. It's just that if there weren't any baby… Jay says if there wasn't a baby would I even be…" Erin broke off, heartbroken at breaking Kelly's heart.

"There is a baby. Erin there is a baby. Our baby. Just give us a chance. I'm askin' for a shot, that's it." Kelly thought about Chief's words, "If you've got one foot outta this house already…"

Erin was a jumbled mess, feeling one way one minute and a completely different way the next. She cared about Jay, so much. She cared about the fireman, so much.

Shit. Am I in love with both?

XXXX

Kelly threw himself in his work, pulling every double shift Boden would allow. The captain who never quite fit in was finally shuffled off to another house deemed more in need of assistance. Severide was officially back on as lieutenant of squad. It was an empty victory.

Erin tried to keep her distance from both men in her life, telling them that she needed to focus on the baby, get herself whole again.

With Severide at 51 all the time now, it was easy to avoid him. She couldn't help but notice he was making it easy. His terse texts were all about appointments and baby furniture. You can only push a man so far. Push a man away so many times. Was she even avoiding him or was he avoiding her?

Halstead was a constant work companion, harder to push out. They'd grab a lunch here and there, stop for dinner once in a while. It was usually with her whole team, sometimes just the two of them.

Want to check out the nursery tomorrow?

Erin sent the text after a long day and night of heavy surveillance. She was so sleepy she could barely keep her eyes open. She'd been thinking of the fireman all day, chalking it up to the fact that he was the father of her child. She hadn't seen him in over a week, so of course she was needing to see him, she rationalized.

Can't. Working.

His reply was short and not sweet. A few seconds later came… Day after?

Perfect, she replied.

She smiled as she let her head hit her welcoming pillow, heavy lids succumbing to sleep. Erin's dreams held a fireman in them, a fireman who was holding her face in his strong hands. She could feel those hands as they brushed back her hair with a gentleness hidden beneath the callouses. His muscled arms held her body so close, the feel of his legs intertwined with hers in a tangled mess that was a web of longing. As his head pressed against her, she could feel the scratchiness of the stubble on his face lightly rake her delicate neck. She loved that starting of a beard he wore, loved the way it felt. His mouth kissed the trail his scruff mapped out, going lower, lingering in the hollow of her hip. She woke up at midnight needing a glass of ice water. She gulped down half of it, settling on a cold shower. Sleep be damned.

XXXX

Erin waited nervously for Kelly to show up. He said he'd take a quick shower at 51, pick up take out, and be over by 3:00.

She got a text at 2:00… might be late. heading to a call. sorry

At 3 she tried texting. Then calling. Then worrying.

At 4 she got in her car, 51 her destination.

At 6 she was at Lakeshore.

XXXX

I won't leave you hanging for long. Thank you to those reviewing (you make me smile) and those enjoying the ride.


	12. One Night V

**Thank you for the reviews, sweet words, appreciate them all! Love you guys. Enjoy!**

* * *

Kelly and Capp were heading back to the hallway, the vent seeming to give them a few more minutes for their search and rescue operation. They'd found an elderly man in a bathroom, rolled into a little ball in one of smallest units. Capp passed him off to Tony who delivered him to the waiting Brett and Chili.

It was a low rent building in a low rent part of town, but that was no excuse for the lack of smoke detectors.

"Chief, things look pretty cleared out, vent working. We're gonna sweep the west side," Severide called out.

"You want Tony back in?" questioned Boden, watching as huge blasts of smoke crashed out of the windows.

"Nah, almost done," Kelly answered. An urgent call from Capp cut the talk. Another old man was slumped over in the corner of his living room near a set of windows with bars on them. "Chief! Send him! We got another one, bad shape."

Capp fireman carried the man down the stairs, transferring him to Tony.

Kelly was yelling futilely, knowing that if more victims remained they were probably in the same shape as the guy Tony just carried out. "Fire department! Call out!" he continued to yell as he kicked in another locked door.

Severide had never seen an actual backdraft. A fireman could go his whole career and never experience one. Those were the lucky ones. Andy Darden hadn't been so lucky. Kelly knew only a couple of firefighters who looked into the eyes of one and lived to tell the tale, but they were few.

The air Kelly brought into the room triggered the explosion … a deadly combination of oxygen with carbon monoxide.

He didn't have a chance.

* * *

Erin grabbed her keys, hands shaking as she ran out of her place. Her feet pounding so rapidly on the stairs, they looked a blur.

The phone call. Boden's voice. All of it said her baby would never meet her daddy.

The detective turned on the siren and sped off. Hang on, she thought. Just hang on.

* * *

The explosion would have blown Severide across the street if a wall hadn't stopped him. He torpedoed into it with such force the ceiling was threatening to come crashing down. Shards of glass and little bits of wood and metal came at him as if he were on a firing line.

The shock wave from the blast could be felt beneath Chief's feet. He was grabbing for gear and a mask before barking out one order. Tony was back in the structure, not hearing Boden's command to stay back, the building too unstable, looking like a house of cards.

Casey was in the building ignoring the order, rushing in a few steps ahead of Chief. Cruz had tweaked his shoulder and was being treated by Brett when he felt the explosion, looking up to confirm his fears. He grabbed his gear. No way was his lieutenant in this alone.

All the men piled back in. They heard Capp's voice, struggling to form words after getting hit with the tail end of the blast throwing him down the hallway. He shook his head trying to get his bearings, his limbs not cooperating.

"Hey, you okay, bud?" Casey asked pulling at one of his arms. Capp shook his head yes, but his teetering frame said the opposite. Hermann grabbed his squad brother letting the man put most of his weight on him as he led him out.

Matt looked at the unit outlined in black with the missing doorframe, Boden locked eyes with truck's lieutenant. Chief put his head down and charged in. Casey followed, adrenaline kicking in, a sense of dread balling up in his stomach.

They stared at Kelly's still figure on the floor.

* * *

The drive to the hospital was twenty minutes of torture. It was the not knowing that made it unbearable. When she rode with Jules, sharing the last minutes of the woman's life, she knew. The blood coming from her neck said things were grim. But it was the look the paramedics wore that told her Jules would not see another day.

She had no details, just Boden's gruff voice telling her, demanding that she get to Lakeshore.

Erin had so much she wanted to tell Kelly. So much she was going to say at 3:00. The 3:00 that stoically ticked by not letting her say one of those words...

First, she missed him, really missed him. That was what she planned to lead with. She'd see how he reacted. If he was halfway receptive, she'd go on.

Second, she didn't want anything to do with the bullshit about keeping it professional, or all baby, or whatever. She could hear him argue that it was her rule. She would say she was breaking it. If they didn't erupt into World War III, she would say the scariest part.

Third, she thought about him all the time. She wanted to see him more. Like date. Or something. That was the most frightening part of her rehearsed speech.

She hoped she would have the chance to try to utter the words. To get another 3:00. To be brave.

* * *

Kelly was wheeled in looking more dead than alive. Will Halstead was working the ER, immediately recognizing the fireman. He went to work focusing on stabilizing the lieutenant, the thought of death never entering his mind. He'd made that mistake before.

The doctor was shocked at the lack of burns, Kelly'd turned with a split second's notice letting his turnout coat take most of the flames. The explosion did more damage to his frame, smashing him into the back wall like a rag doll.

Will was the picture of calm as he met the eyes on him with a small smile and an encouraging nod of the head.

"Erin," he said kindly, taking the woman in his arms. He'd gotten to know her well, hearing about her from Jay, then finally meeting her when she arose from the ashes of a dead friend. He liked her. He also knew how much she meant to his brother.

"Chief," he added, breaking free to shake hands with Boden. He glanced around the room, those anxious faces waiting for him. Waiting on what he would say. Waiting for some hope.

* * *

Erin wanted Will to just come out with it. She had that feeling in her gut that said it was bad news. The kind of news that could send you back down a rabbit hole of sadness, a knock you off your feet tragedy that she'd felt too many times in 34 years.

"Will. How is he?" she asked.

"He's alive. He's holding his own."

Erin would get the chance to say everything she'd waited what seemed a lifetime to say.

* * *

Erin was afraid to breathe. She lightly walked into Kelly's ICU room sure that any noise would disturb the delicate balance between life and death. She didn't want to touch him.

"Go ahead," Will encouraged. "You can hold his left hand, talk to him."

Erin took a hesitant step forward, brushing Kelly's hand with her own.

"He's not gonna break. Go ahead," Will urged.

Erin rushed forward taking Kelly's hand in her own, smiling at the warmth in it.

"You scared us," she said, tears forming, wetting her face as they fell gently on the fireman.

Kelly pulled himself out of the darkness he'd landed in when he hit that wall. He willed his eyes to open. His mouth was moving, but only air could be heard puffing out. Erin drew close, placing her ear right up to his lips.

"You weren't worried, Lindsay? Were you?" the whisper was just above a breath.

Erin would have slugged Kelly in the arm if she hadn't kissed him first.

* * *

"Why didn't you call me? Call Voight? You don't need to be here alone," Jay said taking the brunette in his arms. A deep line running between his eyebrows showing how deep his concern. It was that same worry Erin had seen for months after Nadia's death, even when she returned to claim her life. Is she going to slip up? Is she sinking back into her old ways?

"I'm okay," Erin pulled out of his grip. "I'm not alone," she stated looking around the room of firemen.

"Well, I'm waiting with you. Voight's on his way," Jay continued, calling Hank the minute Will called him. They couldn't have their girl disappear from the living again if something happened to Severide. They would reach down and catch her before she had a chance to fall this time.

"No, Jay, please call Hank. Tell him I'm fine. You go home too," she looked into his eyes, a sad smile brushing her lips.

"Let me take you home. You need rest. I'm sure they'll call if there's any change," Halstead tried again, disregarding the look and all it meant.

"I'm staying. I'll text you tomorrow. Jay, go home." The way she said home left no mistake that she meant his home.

He looked at her for a long while, the seconds ticking by, starting to say something then deciding to stop. His eyes were searching hers for some answer.

He didn't like the one he found.

"Okay," he said defeated. "But this isn't over. We'll talk tomorrow." Jay turned to leave, turning back toward the detective one more time. "Whatever you think you're feelin' right now is because of what happened. It's because he's here, hurt. You're feelin' guil…"

"You're wrong," Erin replied, knowing she'd made some life changing decisions in the hours leading up to all this, to Kelly's accident. Life was too damn short to spend one more minute in some shadow of denial. She owed it to herself to step out of that shadow. Owed it to Nadia.

Erin and Jay's someday had come. And it went. Erin knew most of the blame for its demise rested in her hands. Nadia's death, her descent into hell, and yes, she had to admit, the baby. She hoped Jay would stay in her life, be a part of it, maybe someday even play a part in her baby's life. She'd known from the first time she partnered up with him that she loved him. She just wasn't in love with him. That part of her heart belonged to the man lying in a hospital bed just a few strides away.

* * *

"I know I shouldn't be surprised," laughed Will Halstead, glancing at Kelly's latest vitals, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Good?" asked Erin sitting in her spot, the one she hadn't left for more than a few minutes in two days.

"Great," Will answered smiling. "You aren't getting out of here tomorrow, but all things considered…"

Halstead detailed Kelly's injuries … "Your shoulder and arm thought they could take on a wall. I'm gonna have to call this one in favor of the wall," he joked. The broken bones would heal, he assured the pair.

"I don't know how you didn't break your back or your neck, but your CT scan and MRI both say no fractures. Now your body looks like one big bruise, so enjoy the morphine while you got it." He talked about monitoring the fireman for the next couple of days, but barring any complications, it looked like Severide was headed for a full recovery.

Will excused himself, letting the couple take in the good news. He had a date with a brother that night, one that involved drinking, maybe a little talking, and more drinking. Definitely drinking.

* * *

Erin ran her fingers though Kelly's hair, smiling at how long it was. "You look like a wild animal," she commented, letting her hand run along his beard. She laughed as he let out a low, long growl.

They were on the floor in her kitchen, drenched, both pointing the finger at the other … "You sprayed me first," Erin laughed, still holding the pitcher she used to completely douse the fireman.

"You know this ain't supposed to get wet?" Kelly asked, pointing to the contraption trying to hold his shoulder and arm immobile.

"Really?" asked Erin getting up for a towel.

"Nah, it's metal," Kelly smiled pulling her back down.

Erin's raspy laugh rang out as she slipped, landing half on top of him, "I could get used to this," she said, sliding fully on his lap, taking his face in her hands.

"Me too," Kelly said, running his hand along Erin's stomach. "Gonna keep me around a while?" he asked, loving the feel of her hand back in his hair.

"Maybe for a bit," she teased, laughing again at the grumpy look she got in response.

Kelly let out another low growl, struggling to get back up, pulling the brunette up with him. "A bit huh?" he asked grasping at her hand.

Erin slip-slided in front of him, leading him to the bedroom. "Forty, fifty years. That okay with you?"

It sounded perfect.

She helped him ease gently on the bed. She couldn't help but laugh again at how quickly his expression had changed.

"I like the sound of that," Kelly said, imagining the future they would have, his heart swelling at the thought of years with this woman, with their baby.

Erin smiled, happy.

Happy from somewhere deep within. Happy having a second shot with this man, the father of her baby. Happy that her life was back. Different. Maybe better.

Erin's smile deepened, thinking about the toothbrush she remembered to throw out. Her eyes caught the hands of the wall clock moving into a familiar position. 3:00. Finally, she had her 3:00.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed this one! I have a crazy little fic coming next. I'll post it separate from this one. Have a great week, friends!**


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